"Here, it's clear that I'm not getting better. When I fall down, you put me back together."
Weezer - Put Me Back Together
Sorry for the hiatus. I've been such a lazybum lately. Okay, maybe worse now heh. But you should kiss my foot for updating my blog right now.
Diagnostic is around the corner. To be more specific, it'll bite me in the ass in 5 days. I shall make myself feel anxious by saying that in my head *plays Jason Derulo's song*, there's only the sound of crickets. 0% of useful facts on education. Okay fine, such a bollock if it's 0%. Maybe around 40% ? No doubt that on History and Geography, the percentage of each subject is 0, frankly speaking here, people ! Yes, my head is blank blank blank. If only I can throw away my laziness and plant the word "STUDY" into my system. That has been my goal since ever ! But the difficulty is just... GAH can die please.
To make it worse, Ustazah said, she's not gonna tell us what's coming out for Agama. So we have to read through Form 1, Form 2 and the chapters that we've learned in Form 3. Macam sikit la pulak ? Zzz.
Anyone volunteers to dig a grave for me ? I feel half-dead already.
My cousin is on a semester break and he's sleeping over for a few days. He didn't just bring along his clothes. He brought along his bloody desktop man ! Hahahaha wicked. After 4 years of not using a desktop (School's desktop excluded), this feels weird. I feel like I'm handling a big machine (y)
Last Monday was our picture day. Izreen brought along his camera which made our day extra good, of course. The class photo session went superbly well. Handed Fahmi Izreen's camera and told him to take pictures of my class during the picture-taking session. This probably is my favorite :
Happy faces of 3 Edison '10 ♥
Diagnostic is around the corner. To be more specific, it'll bite me in the ass in 5 days. I shall make myself feel anxious by saying that in my head *plays Jason Derulo's song*, there's only the sound of crickets. 0% of useful facts on education. Okay fine, such a bollock if it's 0%. Maybe around 40% ? No doubt that on History and Geography, the percentage of each subject is 0, frankly speaking here, people ! Yes, my head is blank blank blank. If only I can throw away my laziness and plant the word "STUDY" into my system. That has been my goal since ever ! But the difficulty is just... GAH can die please.
To make it worse, Ustazah said, she's not gonna tell us what's coming out for Agama. So we have to read through Form 1, Form 2 and the chapters that we've learned in Form 3. Macam sikit la pulak ? Zzz.
Anyone volunteers to dig a grave for me ? I feel half-dead already.
My cousin is on a semester break and he's sleeping over for a few days. He didn't just bring along his clothes. He brought along his bloody desktop man ! Hahahaha wicked. After 4 years of not using a desktop (School's desktop excluded), this feels weird. I feel like I'm handling a big machine (y)
Last Monday was our picture day. Izreen brought along his camera which made our day extra good, of course. The class photo session went superbly well. Handed Fahmi Izreen's camera and told him to take pictures of my class during the picture-taking session. This probably is my favorite :
Happy faces of 3 Edison '10 ♥
We had our own photoshoot in class too, hahaha. Fun fun fun ! Not gonna upload any of the photos here though. Feel free to invade my Facebook page ! That is if you're my friend :B
Life ? I sure am on a roller coaster ride right now !
Dad's doing fine, he's okay now. But mom is in the hospital again and waiting for a few results and all. We still don't know what's wrong with her but I hope it's nothing too serious.
And now, here comes the shittiest part of all :)
So, no one goes through an easy-going life. You think you can save yourself from all the disappointments and heartaches ? Sorry but God didn't apply the word 'Fair' to life. Yes, life is like a roller coaster ride. So do your own theme park, ride your own roller coaster. You can handle it since it's your own theme park and your own creation of a roller coaster. You might brag about it, saying 'My life is such an effed up storyline", yada yada. Don't waste your time cause bragging won't make any differences. Why don't you try and do something ? Decide and think of what you should do to makes things a whole lot better. But don't let doubts control your thoughts and decisions. It kills.
So here I am, following what I just wrote there.
I didn't let doubts control my thoughts and decisions. I didn't decide on something that's best for myself. I decided on something that's best for him. This has nothing to do with me, at all ! I mean, if I did it for myself, I won't be going through sleepless nights, mood swings and all. I would be happy right ? Go figure.
To actually see him finding solutions whenever we argue, to see him bear with my egoism, just to see him go through craps like this, is torture. I'm just doing a favor for him aite.
I'm done pretending to be alright with everything that revolves around us. I know, pretending is just like wearing a mask that's written "liar" or "faking it" on it but then, I can't see him getting hurt right ? I don't have the right to get him involved in things that I'm uncomfortable with.
Now, I volunteered to pull myself away, to wave the white flag. I mean without me that girl won't have a problem anymore, she won't need to worry about anything that involves me. While he won't be going through arguments anymore. Ain't that nice ?! I think so too.
I'm not even worried about myself, I've gone through this before so I believe I can go through it again :) Waterworks and regrets probably are my best friends by now. If you want me to give a reason on why am I doing this, okay I'll give you one.
It's because I'm scared of that past. I don't want it to repeat. I'm tired of waiting and hoping, so I don't want to do it again, I don't want to go through it again. Now, does this make me look unselfish ?
Right now, I just hope he's happy. That's all, nothing more, nothing less.
Geez, I hate it when my backache starts to kick in. The cons of having Scoliosis, zzz.
But it's okay, I'm grateful to even have a backbone. Mhmm, an old friend taught me that.
Life ? I sure am on a roller coaster ride right now !
Dad's doing fine, he's okay now. But mom is in the hospital again and waiting for a few results and all. We still don't know what's wrong with her but I hope it's nothing too serious.
And now, here comes the shittiest part of all :)
So, no one goes through an easy-going life. You think you can save yourself from all the disappointments and heartaches ? Sorry but God didn't apply the word 'Fair' to life. Yes, life is like a roller coaster ride. So do your own theme park, ride your own roller coaster. You can handle it since it's your own theme park and your own creation of a roller coaster. You might brag about it, saying 'My life is such an effed up storyline", yada yada. Don't waste your time cause bragging won't make any differences. Why don't you try and do something ? Decide and think of what you should do to makes things a whole lot better. But don't let doubts control your thoughts and decisions. It kills.
So here I am, following what I just wrote there.
I didn't let doubts control my thoughts and decisions. I didn't decide on something that's best for myself. I decided on something that's best for him. This has nothing to do with me, at all ! I mean, if I did it for myself, I won't be going through sleepless nights, mood swings and all. I would be happy right ? Go figure.
To actually see him finding solutions whenever we argue, to see him bear with my egoism, just to see him go through craps like this, is torture. I'm just doing a favor for him aite.
I'm done pretending to be alright with everything that revolves around us. I know, pretending is just like wearing a mask that's written "liar" or "faking it" on it but then, I can't see him getting hurt right ? I don't have the right to get him involved in things that I'm uncomfortable with.
Now, I volunteered to pull myself away, to wave the white flag. I mean without me that girl won't have a problem anymore, she won't need to worry about anything that involves me. While he won't be going through arguments anymore. Ain't that nice ?! I think so too.
I'm not even worried about myself, I've gone through this before so I believe I can go through it again :) Waterworks and regrets probably are my best friends by now. If you want me to give a reason on why am I doing this, okay I'll give you one.
It's because I'm scared of that past. I don't want it to repeat. I'm tired of waiting and hoping, so I don't want to do it again, I don't want to go through it again. Now, does this make me look unselfish ?
Right now, I just hope he's happy. That's all, nothing more, nothing less.
Geez, I hate it when my backache starts to kick in. The cons of having Scoliosis, zzz.
But it's okay, I'm grateful to even have a backbone. Mhmm, an old friend taught me that.
Before I bid you adieu,
Why don't you listen to a few songs here ;
i) Escape The Fate - Bad Blood
ii) Weezer - I'm Your Daddy
iii) Weezer - Put Me Back Together
iv) Usher - OMG
v) The Smiths - This Charming Man
Okay, adieu and have a nice day xx
Why don't you listen to a few songs here ;
i) Escape The Fate - Bad Blood
ii) Weezer - I'm Your Daddy
iii) Weezer - Put Me Back Together
iv) Usher - OMG
v) The Smiths - This Charming Man
Okay, adieu and have a nice day xx
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