Hurry, I'm Falling

You know that it'll be hard to decide between something you don't ever want to happen and something you hope it will happen by not giving up.
You hope that you will be given a second chance but just by how that person treats you, you know you don't even have the slightest chance.
But sometimes, just by knowing that that person laughs to something you said that you don't have the intention to make him laugh, you started to have that smile that sorta lightens up your face.
By the way he talks to you, his words, his sentence, they can make your frown turn upside down.
That's when you started saying to yourself, "I think I have a chance. He seems to be the one I've been missing all along. He seems to be the one I had a fling last time. He seems to be the person I like."
And albeit you had a bad day, when you're talking to him, you'll say to yourself that your day wasn't that bad. As a matter of fact, it was great. It was great just because you talked to him, just because you're happy that you talked to him.
Do you get the picture ?

I made my decision which I don't know if he even realizes it. When I made that decision, I was thinking of the consequences. And you have no idea how hard it was to make that small move for a beginner.
My first move of this process called 'moving on' was taking him off that pretty little top friends. I know you guys might say, "Laa tu je. Apa yang susah ? -.-"
My first thought was deleting him off my myspace. My choice was either to delete him off my myspace or just remove him off my top friends. Now tell me that I'm bold enough to even think of deleting him off my myspace.
But my friends said, just remove him off top friends first and that's what I did.

His messages are still in my inbox and I don't know why I can't delete this one message that never fails to make me cry. His explanation of the misunderstanding that led us to an argument that I regret, til now.
I kept asking myself, is it worth it to keep all those things after what I've gone through ? After how he has been treating me ?
My answer to myself is no. But I still can't press that delete button.

You can call me pathetic, whatever you want. I know I'm pathetic, I admit I'm pathetic, I've been calling myself pathetic.
But what can I do now ? I think everyone agrees that moving on is the thing that hurts the most, right ? It symbolizes that you have to forget the fling you guys had, forget everything that happened and then, you're left with.. Nothing, I suppose ?
Delete everything you have that reminds you of him. And when you've moved on, maybe you will still be in contact with that person you loved or maybe not.
In my situation where I've been the only one who said the hellos, I won't be putting any high hopes of him breaking the ice first yknow.

I want to know, when will I shrug this feeling off of me. When will I forget everything. When will I have the guts to just live and forget and delete everything that will bring me back to the past.
When can I forget the guy that used to be by my side, through thick and thin ?

You're the one who turned my frown upside down. You're the who convinced me that everything will eventually be alright. You're the one with the charm. You're the one I cared so much. You're the first person that I gave my art that I did when I was bored to.
Conclusion is, you're the first of everything that has never ever happened to me. You're the first person that I've met, that never fails to lighten up my day . And what more can I say ?
You're the best of the best !

Everything gets harder when sometimes, my mom and sister ask me about you
My sister likes you. She said, you look like a gentleman, you look like someone who can make me happy, who can be trusted. Among all the guys I liked, she said she's happy that I've met you. But I feel like I have to disagree.
Whilst my mom, sometimes she ask me, what's up with me and you. If I'm online, she'll ask, am I talking to you. If I'm texting, she'll ask, am I texting with you. My answers will be "I don't know", "No" and "No". Hmm

I care for you so much, I like or maybe love you so much, that right now it hurts.
Because of this miserable feeling, I'm blaming myself for knowing you, for getting ourselves into that argument, for everything.
If you didn't say hello to me on MSN, none of this will happen though.
It was just a wrong move, that's all.

Yes, I'm that miserable emotional bitch here.

Quote : cozz *insertname* xde rase intrest kt u dh pon

Yours truly x