Sunday, February 21, 2010

What Do You Want From Me ?

I seriously loathe guys who say something that has to do with flirting and pretty girls. Long story short, guys who care about looks so effing much. I know, girls do that too but yeah, you should understand okay.

Boy, you know my feelings for you. But were you being inconsiderate or something ? Telling me that she's hot, you would flirt with pretty girls. What are you trying to pull off ? After almost a year of knowing me, I guess you still don't know my sarcasm or how sensitive I am.
I know, I'm just being too sensitive but you have to understand too. When you ask me, why the sudden mood change, I didn't tell you why cause I respect you. I know that if I tell you the truth, you would say something like, It's not a big deal or, Why does it matter ? Of course it's easy for you to say but it's not easy for me to handle.
I needed time to move on cause I don't want THIS to happen. I wanted to move on first then we could be friends like we used to be because I don't want this to happen. Yes, this crap, where I'll be jealous of every single thing that has to do with another girl.
We've solved our problems, I know that. But I've always wanted to ask you, do I matter to you ? Am I such a big deal in your life ? Am I important to you ? And who am I actually, to you ?
I know, you have answered that and your answer was, "Cause you're my best friend."
I've never seen someone who doesn't wanna lose a best friend who always starts an argument, who always cause so much trouble in your life.
Imma need a straight forward answer from you, boy. I don't wanna waste my time on this anymore.

Next !

Okay, I'm trying to be as optimistic as a pessimist can ever try to be. And I believe that fights among friends will come and go. I mean, what friendship doesn't have arguments and all ? I believe the answer is None. One thing that my mom taught me was ; Choose your friends. I believe that I will never follow my friends' influences. I might only be fifteen but I believe that I'm smart enough to think what's right and wrong, don't you think so ?
Another thing ; Trust nobody. If you know me very well, you'll know that I have trust issues. Yes, I do. If you've gained my trust, then lucky you, lucky me :)
If you've lied to me, no matter how small it is to you, it will turn out to be a big deal to me. And once you've lied to me, it needs a serious effort to gain my trust again, believe me. So, for me to accept your apology, it takes quite some time. I don't care if you say, "She's being so immature to make this like such a huge deal". Well, I'm sorry if I'm like this but don't blame me okay. It's just me. I just don't wanna end up in the same situation, twice.
I also believe that every human being in this world has their own dark side, bitchy attitude, etc. And every human being dislike other human being. So I don't care if there's anyone who hates me, talks bad things about me. I think I deserve it. I mean, if I don't have an effed up side of me, where else can I learn from my mistakes ? For example, if people say that I'm being such a busy body, I will at least try to stay out of trouble and not care about other people.
If I pretend to not be myself and if people love me for that, they are actually liking me for who I am not. So don't you think it's better to be hated for who you are than liked for who you are not ?

Thanks to my mom, my friends, everyone, I'm starting to learn not to give a flying tuck about anything. Being trash talked, hated, misunderstood, everything.

Have a nice day xx


I think you've heard TTDI people complaining on how unfair it was for us to have school on Thursday and Friday while other schools got two extra off days. But heck, I made my own holidays :B Okay fine, unintentionally ? On Thursday, I woke up late cause I unintentionally slept late, yesss. On Friday, I had my reason why.
It's Sunday now, okay it's already 8pm, so yeah, Sunday night. I'll be seeing school in less than 24 hours, happy happy joy joy ! -.-

What to update you snots about eh ?
Oh right, you guys know that I'm cool with my mom already right ? Yeah, we're cool. We baked cupcakes right after I said sorry :) Delicious cupcakes I tell you !
C'mon, it's a mother-daughter relationship. Always have the ups and downs y'know, I believe that.

Had a remarkable time with my girls and two best guy friends last Wednesday. Didn't get to catch Valentine's Day and Percy Jackson since both movies' tickets were selling fast and the queue was long. Impossible to get the perfect timing tickets.

Met him though that day. Tried to sort things out but mission failed. But everything went back on track that night. So yeah, now we're fine I guess ? I'm still having doubts about everything but eventually, it will go away, won't it ? Mhmm.

Aiya, too messed up. Imma write a new post. A longer and effed up one, yeaaahh !

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Separate Ways

To deal with all this crap has just been too hard for me. Two weeks have passed. Two crucial weeks, have passed. And now, here I am, telling you that we should seriously stop contacting each other, for awhile. Although I feel like forever seems better than for awhile, I know that I can't not talk to you forever. C'mon, even if we don't talk to each other for 3 days, I feel quite empty already. Let alone a week, let alone forever. Please, I don't think you can even understand.

I haven't been true when I said that we should stop contacting each other. But this time, I'm true. I just have to. I can't stand it anymore. I'm sick and tired of it. I don't wanna see myself not sleeping at night, not having the appetite to eat.

No matter how much we argue, no matter how much we try to make things right again, I don't think things will even be like how it used to be. You have got to agree with me on this. I know you do think so.

Honestly, I don't trust that girl. I'm telling you this as a friend. She did that to my friend, what makes you think she might not do it to you ? She has done it, she can do it again. I'm sorry, I'm not blaming her for any of this but she has been running through my mind all this while. Whatever you have with her.. I don't know. I just don't know what to say.

Whatever it is, I don't care if this will go on forever, I don't care if YOU think that not contacting each other forever is the best. I respect it.
I know that I will never forget those amazing moments we had, even though most of 'em were just through texting and MSN.
Those times when I text you right after any one of us went offline, then you'll be like, "Dah rindu I eyh ? HAHAHA". Honestly, you're the first guy who has ever done that to me. I mean, we're friends and you said that and you were cool with it.
Those times when we call each other names. We showed our attitudes to each other, didn't we ? No matter how annoying we were. I know that I did annoy the crap out of you.
Those times when we actually texted each other from the time we woke up til we fell asleep. How possible was that !
I'm not gonna talk about New Year's eve. That was just the best New Year's ever, I'm serious. Honestly, everytime I see Curve's Coffee Bean & Secret Recipe, I'll remember it. After we said our goodbyes, we texted til 6 in the morning. Your text woke me up at 11 in the morning. I was fresh.
You are never boring to me. You are the best texting partner I can ever have. I thought you were too impossible for me, not my type but look, I fall for you in the end. You made me move on from the guy that I fell for head over heels when I thought moving on was impossible.

I don't know what else to say. Things won't just work out after all huh ?
Mhm, thanks for everything and hmm, I'm sorry for everything.

Budak Suka Touching.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentines Day

'Cause without you, my flavor's a little plain.

- Chai Tea Latte by Angel Taylor

Valentines Day is coming in an hour and a half ! Are you excited ?
Have a great time with your dates ;) I'm single on Valentines. Have been for fifteen years so, no biggie. I still have my girls

It's out, it's out !
Wanna watch, wanna watch !

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hello Sexy


We All Have A Devil Deep Inside

I miss these two bitches like damn ! :(
Haven't been spending that much time with Sabrina since I can't go out. We update each other and all on Monday and Friday only cause we have tuition.
Whilst Dayang, hope you're a-okay in Sarawak ! You better get your ass here after PMR and make sure it's not a week or two weeks' trip -.- It feels so weird not seeing you for 10 months plus ! Sorry for not calling. You know me, not a big fan of spending time on the phone and I don't really have time to even dial :( I'll make it up to you, someday !

Hi, do you realize that yesterday was 9th of February, 2010. Which was 90210 ?
Cool ain't it ? Oh yeahhhh.

As for me, everything's going great, fine... Ok, I'm lying, heh.
Not really a good start of a new month. And damnfug, it's only February. Yes, it's only the second month and things aren't like I've imagined. This tense situation has been going on for 2 weeks and mhmm, I have a feeling it will go on longer.
Ok whatever, there are things that I don't really wanna give a damn about. Membuang masa je.

Anyway, I did quite bad on my Intervensi 1. 6As, 1B and ID. Curse you, Sejarah :) Gonna try and start studying from now on. Sort of like an early preparation ? Yeaahhh.
Can you believe it ?! That PMR is in another 8 months ?! Yes, 8 friggin' months. Sounds like a long way to go but you know how time flies now right ? At the speed of light okay !

What else, what else ?
Oh right, guess what ? Haha, Andy said I'm different now. Rather quite.
Aaahh I'm sorry, not really in the mood to talk a lot nowadays. You might see me walking around alone in school. That's just because I run away from people, haha. Yes I'm being seriously serious.

Have you tried reading The Secret ; To Teen Power by Paul Harrington ? At first I thought it's a boring book. The one with lots of mind-twisting facts and with explanations that seem impossible for a girl like me to understand. But heck, I gave it a try. It's a perfect book for a pessimist, I'm serious. I'm at page 47 and it has inspired me even though it has only been 47 pages of facts. I admit, I'm not a huge fan of reading but I believe I can actually finish this book.

I am not a big fan of Jonas Brothers but you should give Nick Jonas a chance. His new song ; Who I Am is quite nice. The music video is cool too :)

Okay, I'm blank. Bye !