Wednesday, September 30, 2009


It doesn't seem to be easy to just let it go.
It doesn't seem to be easy to believe.
It doesn't seem to be easy to forget everything.
It doesn't seem to be easy to be strong.
It doesn't seem to be easy to prevent myself from getting fooled.
It doesn't seem to be easy to prevent myself from getting hurt.
It doesn't seem to be easy to heal from a heartache.
It doesn't seem to be easy to stop reminiscing every single moment.
No, nothing is easy when it comes to you.

So, are you still wondering why I can't move on ?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ought To Be Nearer


It has been awhile since the last time I have this feeling I'm having. I feel giddy, happy, brilliant, smitten, everything and these feelings/moods rarely come okay ! Thank you God, although I'm having my pms right now, I'm not going through the emotional breakdowns. Despite the back pain and period pain lah kan, grrrr.

After 11 days of not wearing tudung, it feels hot wearing it. Seriously, although it wasn't sunny just now, I started to sweat. Well, sini memang dah panas dah pun but still ! Tak suka tahu tak :(
After recess, I had to walk around and all, panas tak terkata ! Sedih okay, tak suka.
Tomorrow I have to wear the Girl Guide's full uniform. May I tell you, I'll be wearing black tudung ? Penyerap haba, people ! Okay, I'll stop bragging. I just hope tomorrow won't be as hot as today. Plus, the temperature was 38 degrees I guess. Fullstop !
But I love school no matter what :') ehek ehek

I heard our final exam is just around the corner, at the end of October ? I'm so not ready to squeeze my brain and do a major exam. I'm too lazy to squeeze huge amount of facts into my brain in a matter of what.. 3 weeks ? Damn, this is gonna be stressful !
Whatever, I have to make my parents proud. My mom said, "Mama nak pergi tengok Wani naik stage and ambik hadiah masa Hari Anugerah nanti". My mom sounded disappointed cause when I was in primary school, she went to my Hari Anugerah for 6 years straight. I'd say that her proudest moment was when I was standard 6. I received the 5A's anugerah thingy and tokoh murid perempuan. You should have seen her face :')
But last year, macam tak layak pergi Hari Anugerah, result macam toot toot, kedudukan dalam kelas nombor 2 but overall number 4, tak dapat la.
So, I'll try my best to beat the crap out of those smartypants in my class. I just have to deal with my laziness, that's all. Wish me luck :D

I'll be waiting for a text message to come,
whenever will that be :/

Monday, September 28, 2009

It's My Turn

Last week, Mak Lang told all of us about her friend's son. He's just the same as me, an adopted child. One day, there was this event for adopted child. He volunteered to give a speech about himself, his feeling, everything. It was very very touching. He said, he would thank his real parents no matter what. He received a hug from a few famous people, for example Jermaine Jackson :)

That made me think of it and mom asked me, "Will you have the guts to get on stage and tell people about yourself being an adopted child ?". I was speechless.

So I was thinking of what I'll say if I get to be on stage and tell people about it. I wanna share with you guys, cause who else will I share it with, no ? This is what I wrote and sorry for any grammatical mistakes !

As you guys know, I'm an adopted child. I've been adopted by my parents whom I'm living with now. It has been fourteen years cause they adopted me since I was born. They used to tell me that they actually found me in a box in front of my house. Harsh but it never fails to make me laugh til now. I've never ever seen my real parents. I don't even know them. I would love to know who they actually are but sometimes, I have a feeling that if I know them, I'll go back to them. At the same time, I'll just tell myself that there must be a reason why I've been adopted. Maybe I was a burden to them so I don't wanna be a burden to them now.
After fathoming it out, I've decided to not go back to my real my parents eventhough if I can and even if I know who they are.
Honestly, I had a thought, was I an unfortunate child that I was given away for an adoption ? Was I an unexpected child ? I used to ask myself a lot of questions. Why was I given away for an adoption ? I needed the answer. I still do actually, but I know the answer will tear me apart, one way or another. I'm sure, someday I'll know the answer. Maybe when I'm strong, when I obtain a thick heart which can handle even the most heartbreaking truth, when I've learned how to handle the truth without going through a major breakdown, when I'm mature enough.
Sometimes, I do wish I could just run away from this family. Of course, that's when I'm going through a tough time. Y'know, the times when we get scolded in a way that tears you apart just like tearing a paper. Yeah, my parents always call me stupid, bloody stupid, all those harsh words. With my strong sensitivity, of course they do not mash well together. I could feel like someone just punched my stomach.
But what's life without breakdowns and the ups and downs right ? Life won't be as perfect as it can be without the challenges, without the ups and downs. I take challenges as a one way ticket of learning new things. I'll keep that in mind from now on. I have to be stronger, that's all, cause right now, I am a wimp, I am still a weakling.
And after hearing my auntie's story, I've just realized, whatever my real parents did to me, I'll thank them no matter what. Without them, I won't even exist. Without them giving me away for an adoption, I won't be living in this house, living in this family which consist of a strict yet loving parents, a sister whom I never get bored with, a brother who can be such a jerk but a caring one too and without them giving me away for an adoption, I won't be who I am now. So thank you and no, I won't think of me being adopted as a weakness or advantage. I'll never think of it that way. I always think myself, as same as all of you people who are living with your real family. Cause I've been leaving with this family since I wasn't even able to see the real world and understand it, so because of that, I consider this family of mine as my real family :)
Plus, I know this situation I'm in, is not even bad. There are people out there who are in worse situation but they are still grateful for what they have. So I ask myself, Why Can't I Be Grateful Just Like Them.

Reaching Out

Just to get things straight and just to be honest, I'm not holding anymore grudge against anybody anymore cause to me, that doesn't do any good. I mean, keeping the feeling of anger and hatred inside of me will just tick me off more often. And yes, it will tick me off easily too. I don't want that to happen to me. I don't want to rant or bitch about things that are not worth my time anymore. I don't wanna BE a bitch at the wrong time. It just ain't pretty.

Somehow, I have the feeling that some people I had a problem with last time are still not satisfied. That's why I'm getting this straight. To make it straighter, I would like to say sorry for being such a bitch, a crackhead, whatever. I'm just sick and tired of this immature game. I'm tired of looking at certain people and I get the bitchy stare. Hey, it wasn't my intention to look at you and had the eye-contact. So, if you're my #1 hater, I'm sorry aite ? :) If sorry is not enough and you're still not satisfied, then it's up to you cause I'm a human being and this is the only thing I'm capable of doing. Nothing more, nothing less. Just an apology.


First day of school wasn't really what I expected. It was sorta boring but okay ? Didn't learn anything before recess. Although Pn. Rabiatul came into class, she didn't teach us anything.
It felt different to go to the canteen and eat when I haven't been having my recess there for a month, haha. Went to the computer lab with Miera since she wanted to print out the information on Usahawan for KH. While doing that she showed me his pictures. Miera, tak handsome tak handsome ! Hahahaha.
Went into Agama class at 11.20am which was, yes, late. Talked to Shar right away, didn't really pay attention.
Maths was nothing too. I just love the time for us to go home :)


Shitzo, how am I gonna get those things ?
I'm so effed up right now, I'm gonna go off -.-

; I think I'm falling head over heels again.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Strictly Business

Mom and dad sent the brother to the bus station, I guess, around 11am cause he's going back to his university.While I arrived at OU 11am on the dot with my cousin, Kak Ain. Yes, she's staying at my house in the mean time cause she just came back from US. His dad will come here next week but I have a feeling both of 'em will be staying here cause she said her dad might be selling their house in DU.

Anyhoo, I followed Kak Ain to OU cause she wanted to buy her working clothes. We thought we would be walking around for hours cause she said she's a bit fussy on picking out clothes. Thanks to G2000, she bought her complete working suit there :) And it took us only less than an hour !
That means, we had more time to shop *joy oh joy*. At first we went through the awkward silence moment but then, we started talking and all.
Now I know, she loves shoes ! Whenever we passed by a shoe shop, she would say, "I can't look !" hahaha. Had lunch at Laksa Shack. It was my first time eating there so I orded Mee Curry. It was good (Y)
I bought a bag at Forever 21 and mom was searching for it just now hahaha. Baru je nak diam diam, tak nak dia tahu, tiba tiba dia jumpa beg plastic Forever 21 :(
I didn't get to buy any other nice stuff cause my purse was left with receipts. Hey, I'm saving my raya money okay !
I was a bit restless throughout our journey of wandering around that shopping mall since I haven't finished my Geography Folio and haven't printed out the information for KH. Screw you !

Thanks to my motivation and hardwork, I've finished my folio :D
I've just realized, it wasn't that hard if I actually concentrate hahaha. Yes, before this, I didn't care about this folio. At all.
I'll print it out and show it to teacher tomorrow. I hope it's fine, so that I won't have to edit it yada yada *fingers crossed*.

I'll be seeing familiar faces in school tomorrow cause that's when school starts. I can't wait but at the same time, I hate the fact that school's starting, in what.. 10 hours ? After 11 days ( I didn't go to school on Thursday which was the last day of school, hehe ) of waking up at around 9am or 10am, the routine of waking up at 6am will start again. Oh, I can feel the agony !

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Ain't That Smart

Me : Kak, where are you ? Bila nak sampai rumah ?
Kakak : Kakak still kat Bagan Serai. Sampai around 8 something la.
: Huh ? Kedai sayur ?! Lama gila duduk kedai sayur !
Kakak : Bangang, kakak still jauh lagi la, still kat Perak here, hahaha.

For sure, I suck at Geography :D

Thursday, September 24, 2009

His Talent, Perhaps ?

"A wise man once told me that speeches should be like a girl's skirt ; Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to keep it interesting."

Fahmi, that was your line. Can you remember ?
Last year man, last year !
Hahahaha :')

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Now That We're Done

Sorry, I was away. Well, I wasn't really away actually. It's just that people are not updating their blog due to Raya I guess, so that makes me feel lazy to update mine.
But, seeing how my blog looks like right now, the last post was on the 18th of September, it's quite sad y'know. I'll tell you what I've been doing for the past few days but I won't really elaborate, hookay ?


Every year, either I would wake my sister up or vice versa, then we would rush around the house to get ready and all. Since my sister is living on her own now, I thought we couldn't go on with that tradition of ours. But she made it happen. I was having my beauty sleepy and she came early. She woke me up by turning on the lights in my room and jumped on my bed continuously, hitting my ass, forcing me to wake up. I had to drag my ass off my bed, as always.
Helped mom with the Rendang and all. Every year, mom's siblings with their family will come to the house, as dad's siblings are at the village. So the uncles, aunts and cousins came after Raya prayers so the house was rather crowded :)
Ate together, talked and laughed. The lemang and rendang were awesome ! Sedap gila okay (Y) I've always been #1 fan of mom's cooking, woot woot. Lagi la rasa macam berat badan tambah, grr.
Anyhooo, after devouring mom's awesome cooking, all of us went into the living room for duit raya + photo session + 'bonding session', with our full tummies. Dad was counting the duit raya since he was the one who was giving out the duit raya. He said he looked like those people who gamble, y'know. Kira kira duit, bahagi bahagi kan, hahaha. Tah pape, okay wth.
When Jalil was receiving his duit raya, dad made it look like Jalil was receiving a medal of honor or something. Sumpah poyo, hahaha.

The gaining weight session (Y)

Babah was missing in action

Bajet dapat medal of honor semacam la

Acu, kakak and Jalil

Harris, Acu and Jalil

Moving on, we had our photo session. But sadly, dad was being his anti social-self so we didn't take any pictures of the Abu Zarim family :'( Sad shiznit, no ?
Yada yada, snapped pictures here and there. Around 1 o'clock, everyone went back except for Acu.


Planned to go back to ze hometown but it was cancelled last minute -.- So, I didn't really do anything for half of the day. Around lunch time, Uncle Razak and his family came. Eye candy ! Anak dia memang hot tak terkata :D But Acu told me to follow her to OU or Curve, so I followed. We went to OU instead cause Acu goes to Curve quite often. Walked around, went into Padini, Elle, Dorothy Perkins, Topshop and Miss Selfridge. Acu spent almost an hour in Elle, trying out clothes and all, as she's the kind of person who takes a long time to choose clothes. Acu bought a top for me from Miss Selfridge. She told me try it on. She said it looked nice on me and well, I sorta liked it too. But I'm scared to wear it, somehow.
Had our tea time at Delicious. Chocolicious Sundae sedaaaaaap gila !
Then, went back around 7.30pm, get ready, and off to Tok Cik's house. Everyone from mom's side was there, so it was another hella fun of a night.

"Weyh, macam model boxers Renoma tu. HAHAHA"


Didn't do anything productive, other than laying on my bed and played GTA and Guitar Hero. Jobless la jugak. Watched Ice Age 3 too :D
Went to Sabrina's house after Maghrib for her small open house. It was fun. Eeqa, Balqis, Sarah MZ and Alyssa were there. We ate, took pictures, yada yada. Watched Exorcism half way only, then Intan came. Ate again, haha. Sabrina decided to watch Fired Up but I didn't really get the movie, seriously. I went home at 11pm. And the night ended.
Ain't gonna tell you what happened next.

So far, my Raya has gone pretty well :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Firecrackers and Forgiveness

Obladi Oblada..

Hello world and all whom inhabit it !
I'm doing it in advance 'cause I'm afraid tomorrow I'll be busy. So, Selamat Hari Raya people. It's pretty obvious ( or maybe, very very obvious ) that I haven't been a girl with a halo throughout this year. I know, I've been a pain in the ass, a bitch, a hot head, a troublemaker, anything, everything. Since I've been all that, I would like to take this opportunity to say that I'm deeply truly sorry for everything I did to you. Sorry for my mistakes, my wrong doings, everything. I'd say that some of 'em are well.. unintentional, hehe. This is a huge big fat sorry okay ! Hahaha. I hope you forgive me :)
Hope you have a marvelous Raya this year, enjoy your mother's ( or maybe grandma's ) cooking. Sure, you can eat as much as you want since this opportunity of eating rendang and lemang on a festive season comes only once a year. Enjoy wearing your new and b-e-a-utiful raya clothes cause I know I'll enjoy wearing 'em ;)
As for the $$$, be a thrifty user, don't spend it at once. You might be needing it later on, no ? Though, you can satisfy the urge and lust for clothes anytime ( my plan haha ). Still (!), be a thrifty user !
What else eh ? Hmm, oh ! Some of you might be on your way back to your hometown while some of you will be on your way tomorrow. Note to self : Wear seat belts, don't distract the driver, make sure the driver's not sleepy and when you're there, make sure you avoid those ' fresh chocolates' on the road, if you know what I mean hahaha.
Plus, if you're planning on playing firecrackers, make sure you take extra safety precautions ! I don't wanna hear from people or see you when school starts with only 4 fingers or something. Be careful, aite ?

I think that's all.
I hope you forgive me and oh,
S, F and DR, I hope you guys forgive me 'cause well, we have been on a bumpy road this year. And well, we're not talking to each other. I'm just asking for forgiveness, that's all. Not sure about being how we used to be, but yeah.
SO hope you guys and all of you who's reading this ( which I doubt anyone reads this ) will accept my deepest apology.

SelamatalmostHari Raya,
Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Thursday, September 17, 2009

What I Do Best

I've been going through my MSN chat log since yesterday and there are conversations between me and all of the people I talked to since August 2008 :') It tears me up, reading the conversations. Lawak ada, sedih ada, semua ada.
School days in '08 were fantastic.

  • First day of school, I can't remember who sat beside me. While on my left it was Hazeem. I didn't know he was Acap's ( my brother's friend ) little brother, til my brother told me that Acap's brother's name is Amirul Hazeem. The next day, I searched for someone who was similar to Acap but I couldn't find anyone who looked even a bit like Acap. So I searched for someone by the name of Amirul Hazeem, when I realized he was actually sitting beside me. Dope much ? Hahaha. I started to disturb him and later on, we were close. Til now :)
  • At first, I didn't get along really well with Fahmi 'cause honestly, he was an asshole ! ( sorry Fahmi ) He called me Hazwan and a few other things that I can't remember. So one day, he pushed the button, he crossed the line, I yelled at him. He didn't know me that well yet, so he thought I was joking around. He even asked Danial if I was talking to him or what ! -_-' Hahaha.
  • I knew Danial Rezman when I heard people say he was the hotstuff. I told myself, "If he's a hotstuff, how can I not realize ? Dah la my classmate !". That means, to me, you weren't a hotstuff Danial. Sorry, haha.
  • In February/March, the happiest moment of my life when I found the one who made me move on and forget that douchebag whom I shouldn't even have a crush on :) An addition to my easy-going life and ecstatic moments.
  • Sat at the back of the class. I sat alone while Fahmi and Danial were in front of me, Fadhli was in front of 'em, Aneesa and Aainaa on my right, Shasha and Azwin in front of 'em. Technically, we were a group at the back. We were all really really close.
  • Played futsal at Zaaba every week in the morning, depends on when they wanted to play. So much fun. Plus, after the game, we would walk to Petronas and chilled there for awhile. Then walked back to school or to Zaaba where mom would pick me up, while the others would go back to school.
  • There was never a day without me bursting into fits of laughter 'cause sitting behind the two clowns, i.e Fahmi and Danial made it impossible for me to be quiet !
  • I can't forget when Fahmi said his armpits smelt like Maggi, with his facial expression and they way he said it, HAHA.
  • Pinching Danial was the best ! He would scream in pain, so that would just shut him up ;p And he was my singing partner in class. We exchanged music with each other, we sang together.
  • Just believe it that Fahmi and Danial were prefects too okay. And bila orang bertugas, memang tak sah kalau tak nampak Fahmi dengan Danial together gether hahaha.
  • During our prefects' performance practice, Fahmi on-ed Bullet For My Valentine - Hands of Blood from his phone where there was a part in the beginning, it went like, "AUM !" and Fahmi said it exactly the same but with his oh-so-famous face and his hand in the air. HAHAHAHA it was a you-should-have-been-there moment.
Hmm, what else eh ? *thinking*
  • OH YA, when Fadhli was dating with Shasha in class. Once, Danial and I came from behind and screamed, "MAKSIAT !". Terkejut, melatah terus hahahaha.
Shit, apa lagi eyh ? Haih, tak ingat sangat.
  • Once, I climbed the school's big dustbin and took a picture. Ye la, bajet stuntwoman poyo jap hahaha.
  • Was it the last day of school or something, Fahmi, Danial and I were chasing each other around our block. Up and down, up and down. At first, we were empty handed then I took the shovel's handle thingy, Danial had a broom I guess and Fahmi had.. I don't know, I can't remember. I was sweating bullets okay ! Fuh, great exercise.
  • Last day of school, the class was trashed. There was a masterpiece made from chairs and tables ! There were only a few people in class. So we chilled, made another masterpiece which Fahmi tried to sit on it. He arranged tables and chairs til it was quite high. Then he sat on top of it where he put a chair. Then he fell HAHAHA. He was The Iron Man cause it was hard to hurt him -.- So yeah, he wasn't hurt although he fell from that Chairs & Tables tower. Had like a water fight before going home. Obviously, it was our friggin' last day ! Dah la before that the teacher announced what class we would go next year, haih. Lastly, we went home wet. Really really wet :')
Those are just memories that I could remember now. I feel like I wanna repeat last year. It was so so fun !

Are You On Drugs, Lad ?

Okay, since Raya is just around the corner, I'm starting to feel giddy and looking forward to it. I don't think it's only about the greens, the kachings but it's about the family gathering that I've been longing for, it's about the enthusiasm of wearing new baju kurung/kebaya and open houses ( mari mari, mana lagi open house ?! ). And somehow, we will be celebrating Hari Raya here. Nope, we're not going back to ze parents' hometown cause there's no one left there, other than cousins and aunts WHICH my brother, sister and I are not closed to. So, we don't really mind !
The brother is coming back on Saturday I think. God, I can imagine how my first day of Raya will be :') With the Raya songs and the house being as noisy as it can be.
Ramadhan will end in 3 days and honestly, I haven't been an angel with a halo cause my mouth has been such a bitch, I've been such a bitch, no differences at all. Let alone about the prayers and whatnot. I will try my best to improve.
I hope I will still be on Earth when the next Ramadhan rolls, InsyaAllah.

I missed school today.. on purpose, HEHE. I felt a tad bit scared when I was telling ze parents about me playing truant. Mom didn't really agree but the boss's a.k.a daddy cool's decision is what matters the most :') He was on my side, hoorah.

Me : Ma, wani tak nak pergi sekolah esok tau. Tak banyak orang pergi pun.
Mama : No, suka sangat tak pergi sekolah -.-
Me : Bah, wani tak nak pergi sekolah esok boleh ? Tak banyak orang pergi pun.
Babah : Esok Khamis eyh ? Last day of school before Raya. Hmm, okay lah, pass !
Me : HEHEHE, look at that Ma. An approval :D
Mama : Babah will take any opportunity to not send you to school. Spend his time sleeping like a baby is better. Tak apa, Mama hantar Wani pergi sekolah, habis cerita.
Me : Contract dah sign la Ma, kan Bah kan kan ?
Babah : Yeah yeah.

Woke up around 10.30am and texted Shar if she was in school or not. And she said she was on her way back, "period pain teruk :D". Terbaik punya alasan (Y)
And she said no one went to school. None of the people from our gang, nada. Thank God I didn't go to school, haha. But, Ainina just IM-ed me through MySpace, telling me there's homework. Bugger, we have to write a journal throughout this holiday for English -.-
Such a huge turnoff !

Y'know, hearing teacher said something about the form 5's graduation day, SPM is just around the corner and all, make me feel a tad bit sad. I know, I'm not even involve in all that til another 3 years to come but I'm closed with this year's seniors than last year's. So there should be a slight sad feeling when they're leaving school, no ?
Okay, I'm babbling about something that I shouldn't be talking about, hmm.

I'll be having buka puasa with Aiesya Rafieqa and the girls tomorrow. Well, I'm not exactly sure who will be joining but it has been a long time since I went out with the girls.
And, I'll be going to Sabrina's on Monday.
Where are the open houses, people ? ;)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Gelak Gelak !

Inappropriate yet funny.
Kudos to Azrel, hahahahaha

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

This.. Sucks

I update my blog almost everyday right ?
Although I'm out of ideas right now, I still wanna update it. Just for fun, hehe.

I should prioritize my huge amount of homework ( or maybe, you should call it as homework that I've been procrastinating ) but Geography folio is giving me nightmares. Although I wrote down a few points already, my lazy mode won't turn off !

School was a bore a bit, but it was okay at the same time. Miera was absent just because she was going to shop for Raya. What an excuse man, hahaha. Thank God Shar came. During English Luen and Harisah were busy telling us those things from FML and MLIA. Dah la ada yang tak faham sangat, pfft.
I sent my Penulisan book which wasn't even complete. There was only that Berita notes left. Free period during History and Amali was Ustazah Ruha's famous lectures :') We ask any questions and she'll answer 'em. Seriously, best gila ! I like it when we're having that.
Mom was being such an embarrassment, yet again. She likes him so much til she had to drive slowly in front of him, so that he would look at her. She succeeded ! &^%$#
And now, I bestow you with the title The Greatest Mother Who Knows How To Embarrass Her Own Child :') Not teasing or anything. But seriously, I bet he's freaked out or something.

Monday, September 14, 2009

If Only..

..I have skinny, nice, long legs.
If only my parents or more preferably, my mom likes fashion so she would just let me invest on loads of clothes.
If only I have high taste in fashion.
If only I have the money to spend on good clothes.
And the If Only list goes on and on.
Not being ungrateful or anything, hookay ?

Honestly, I envy those people who go out in style. It's like they've tried their best to look good. No no, it's like they've managed to look good. Eventhough it's a combination of simple-looking clothes y'know.
Kan best kalau ada baju yang macam lawa gila gila, yang kalau keluar rasa macam :)))))

Okay, I think you guys don't and won't get it, haih :(

Listen To Yourself

"And to the rest of the world, God gives you shoes to fit you, So put 'em on and wear 'em. Be yourself man, be proud of who you are. Even if it sounds corny, don't ever let anyone tell you you ain't beautiful "
- Eminem ; Beautiful

Eminem is my current idol. I just love his songs, such as Mockingbird and Beautiful. The lyrics are quite inspiring :')

I have to stop procrastinating cause that's bad for my health, mostly mentally. I have loads of works to do ! My BM essay, Maths notes, KH research, folios (!), Agama notes, History notes, what else ? I don't think that's all. BM essay was last week's work and should've gave it to teacher just now. But since I didn't finish it yet, I decided to send in tomorrow ( if I manage to get it done by tonight ), while the others, I'm not sure when will I get started.

That's just about homework. Let alone about folios, shall we ?
Let's jump into something more interesting.

School has always been great, I'm serious. Like I said before and well, I'll say it again, I'll be looking forward to school almost everyday. Despite the learning periods, of course.
For example, just now, I'd say that I did nothing productive in school, at all. During BM ( which I should've not wasted my time on laughing and talking, but listen to what teacher was explaining ), I was laughing without any apparent reason. And because of me, laughing without any apparent reason, was funny ! Well, for me of course. Izreen went, "Haa gelak !", just that, I laughed like a maniac. Gelak sampai sakit perut, keluar air mata lah :'))))))

Paroxysm of laughter

No, I didn't take any laughing gas or anything that could be the reason why my system went loony, kapish ?

After two days of our weekends, that was the reason why we had to catch up with each other. As for your information, 2 days of away from each other means we have a lot of catching up to do. So we ( Miera, Harisah and I ) did our daily routine in school. Unfortunately, Shar was m.i.a. Tak apa tak apa, esok ada :)

And.. the day went normal, as usual, just they way I like it !

Shit, Djokovic lost to Federer :( I was hoping for Djokovic to win cause don't you feel tired to see the same person winning matches over and over again ?
Whatever, at least Del Potro beat the crap out of Nadal. Woohoo ! Cheers :D
Finalist ; Federer vs. Del Potro.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Set Me Free

Waking up to the cool breeze of morning after-rain weather was just what I needed :')
I guess it rained quite heavily last night. Sampai tennis match pun postpone la, haih.

My request of going for Raya shopping was rejected by mom. She said, "Buat apa nak shopping Raya ? Raya je la, pakai baju kurung. Macam la kitorang balik kampung and orang datang rumah 24/7". That's my mom ! So, sadly, I don't have any new clothes for Raya. I don't really mind about shoes cause I have my gladiator-like heels that I wore to prefects dinner.
That means, I have my baju kebaya and baju kurung only. Biar lah, tak mati pun kan hahaha.
Plus, tak balik kampung pun, so yeah. I don't think I have any trips for Raya.
I don't really have the I-Can't-Wait-For-Raya feeling for now, I have no idea why. Despite the greens ( although duit kita ada warna merah, biru, hijau, etc. ), the food, family gathering and open houses ( won't do an open house but hoping for my friends' open house, HEHE ). Isn't Raya about the gathering too ? Well, sorta. No ? :)

I don't think I should be here right now,
I'm struggling on doing my Geography folio. And as you can see, I've been bragging about since a few posts before.
I've just realized that I actually do have a lot of things to search. Plus, susah gila nak cari infos pasal TTDI. Map pun susah nak cari :'(
Boleh nangis and botak la macam ni ! *&^%$#

( tengah berangan boleh buat tangan punya benda tu macam dalam video clip Pixie Lott - Mama Do )': kewl gila )

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Satisfaction Guaranteed

I'm in the midst of deciding either, should I sign up for Tumblr.. again.. for the 3rd time hahaha. Don't look at me like that ! I came across a website full of eye-catching, jaw dropping pictures. Cool shiznit yo. So that makes me feel like doing Tumblr, yet again. But why should I sign up when I can just save the pictures and have the spirit of writing posts right here ?
Okay, this is confusing.. again -.- I shall brainstorm and decide by tonight. Okay, alright.

I was in and out from home for the entire day. Woke up at 10.30am and followed ze parents to send the maid to dad's office and off to Klang to take cakes and kuih raya from my mom's friend's house. I had to follow cause I'm a wimp when it comes to stay home alone. Shut your chatter, continue reading -.-
Anyhoooo, after spending such a boring time there since I had nothing to do.
Dad planned to go to the supermarket after that but he was tired so we came home around 2pm. I thought I could rest for awhile but mom dragged me to pick up my maid. And we went for a few stops here and there to buy things, grrr.

Then, at 6pm went to OU but took a pit stop at the dry cleaners and Muhibbah. Mom went to Parkson to get dad's shaving cream while dad and I went to Chocolate Lounge, HEHE. We bought three Queen of Rock 'n' Roll for each of us, a slice of Tiramisu cake and Banana Milk Chocolate Cake.
I couldn't wait for break fast ! So, we waited for mom in front of Best Denki.
We arrived home on time. Balik balik je dah azan so I took out my baby Queen of Rock 'n' Roll and drank it. Guilty pleasure !
Honestly, today's buka puasa was the best :D Semua sedap tadi

But, I'm scared if I actually gain weight, not lose weight y'know :'(
I hope I lose weight. If not, I'll cry til my eye balls pop out or something !

Friday, September 11, 2009


Last night, had a small birthday celebration. Kak Ina, Qaseh, Uncle Zul and his two nephews came to celebrate Kak Ina and Qaseh's birthday. Isn't it cool ? Mak dengan anak birthday same date :') Ditched my laptop at 9pm and hung out downstairs with them.
And it seems like Qaseh and I loves sweet things. Yeaayy ! Anyhoooo, I hung out in the kitchen with mom, Kak Ina and Qaseh. Had our laughs and all, then it was time to blow the candles.
Comel gila, Qaseh dah habis tiup lilin pun nak suruh nyalakan lilin tu lagi sekali hahahaha. Didn't really have any unusual moments so they went back around 12am.
P.s : No pictures, sorry !

Now, my cousin and her mom are here. They just came back from the States, but just for awhile. We'll be breaking out fast together tonight, with my other relatives.

I'm starting to feel the stress-vibe cause this Geography and History folios are making me restless. I hope that I can finish up my Geography folio by next week. Damn, I should start doing it right now !

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Mannequin, You Said ?

I'm flying through time back to the taste of reminisce.

Hi, how are you doing ? Alhamdulillah, I'm calmer than yesterday. Thanks to the school hours with the shmucks I guess :)
School was a bore since we didn't really do anything. I should've skipped school today but I know that couldn't happen. Ze parents are not a big fan of me playing truant. So yeah. I can only do that once in awhile. Tu pun kena tipu sebab. It's either I'll say that we won't learn in school cause we will be having some kind of activity. Or, there are visitors coming so the teachers will be busy that they will be missing in action from class. HEHE alasan semua agak bodoh bodoh but hey, I've hit the jackpots quite a few times and yes, I'm proud of it 8)

Relief teachers came in for each period of English so Harisah, Shar, Miera and I updated each other on what the hell happened for the past less than 24 hours. Banyak la jugak cerita and I tell you this ; Dalam satu hari, tak sah kalau Harisah tak cakap, "I ada cer !" or if you want it to be more dramatic, it goes like, "OMG I ada cer !". Then you'll be updated (Y)
Art class is different now cause well, the teacher is different. Usually, we'll just be on our honeymoon during Arts cause that teacher won't be in and all. But now, since the teacher is different, I hate arts more :')

When Miera, Fafa and I were calling Shar and Harisah from the music room, they were playing gamelan and it was uber cool. It was like *showing hand movements* and *doing the sound*. God, it was so cool !
We weren't doing anything during Science so Harisah and I went out with Miss Anniza's permission of course, to see Cikgu Fadzli then we had to photostat some things and managed to get back to class 20 minutes before KH period. Chilled for a second.
Continued doing the Lukisan Keratan Penuh but I wasn't sitting with Hafiz Firuz. Instead, I was sitting with Shyahirah and Shasha. So I was rather quiet, tak ada talking partner. The bright side was, I finished my drawing which was a practice and also the real drawing :') Suka gila sebab before that rasa macam tak sempat je nak habiskan semua benda right on time. Tengok tengok dapat habiskan macam 1 setengah lukisan :')))
Since I was getting the hang of it, it was sorta easy and a smooth ride drawing the real one. No sweating bullets like before.

Though, today I didn't really get to spend much time with the boys especially Luen and Izreen. I feel like we barely talk today, just a bit :/ Aiyo, tak apa, esok ada !

My aunt and cousin who have been in the States for a few years are here already (?). And they'll come and break fast with us tomorrow :)
Unfortunately, my uncle can't make it cause he'll be having a meeting. Geez he's a busy bee ! I hope he'll come back next month *finger crossed*

p.s : Pelik, kenapa tetiba my Hit Counter tu dah 11900+ ? Semalam baru 1000+
Weird shit hahaha :s
p.p.s : It's annoying when people are being nosy and such a busybody, giving a damn about other people's life.
p.p.p.s : I hope you get a good knock on your head. You were on my nerves cause I absolutely hate people thinking that I'm weak on defending myself or fighting for my rights but thank God I haven't reached my temper limit. You can kiss the ground if you have to. Kau macam tak biasa kena kutuk je -.-

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


HAPPY 090909 DAY !
Hope you have a great day, although it's already 8.13pm. But what the hell.
Did you have a great day ? I know I don't :)
Well, half of the day.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sick And Tired

Let me get this straight. I ain't stupid nor am I smart. I have brain and I use that part that I am grateful of wisely, rather than being brainless or being someone who doesn't use her brain. So, I don't need anyone to say that I am immature cause as far as I know, yes, I am immature. And I don't need another human being to tell me something that I already know. It's just annoying and it's as if you're referring me as stupid and at the same time, you're actually underestimating and insulting God's creation. If you're smart, you'll think that everyone that God creates is smart. Even those people whom you considered as stupid, are smart. In their own ways.

Even if you're old enough, even if you're already 17 or 18 ( not referring to anyone ), don't really think that you're already mature. Fine, you might think maturely at times but that doesn't prove that you are actually mature. Everyone can think maturely. Making a decision by yourself is called as a mature move. Think of what's right and wrong is a mature move. But from what I learn from my folks, being independent, wise and successful marks the maturity in yourself.

I'm sick and tired of people calling me immature. Sure, I was wrong for saying that I'm already a matured girl. Don't you think because of me, thinking that I was mature, proves that I'm actually still immature ? Because of me being immature, I thought I was mature. Get it ?
Well, I've just realized, that I said I was mature was because I made my decisions by myself.
After I fathom it out, that's when I snap out of the thoughts of me being mature and keep in mind that I'm not. And by the way, I'm only fourteen for god's sake ! This is the age where I have fun. I'm not even fully a teenager yet. Let alone being a matured girl.
As a matter of fact, I still have the mind of a little kid cause sometimes I sleep with my mom, sometimes I ask mom to get rid of fish bones for me, sometimes I run around like a small kid, sometimes I get excited like a small kid who just received a lollipop.
I might not be mature yet, but that doesn't mean or prove that I'm stupid in making my own decisions, thinking on what's right and wrong.
No, I'm not mature.. not just yet :)

So, stop repeating the friggin' message cause I've programmed "I'm Still Immature" into my system, hookay ?

Dressed For Friend Requests

I shouldn't have slept earlier. If I have my nap right now, I bet I'll be sleeping like a baby cause it's raining outside. You have no idea how I love sleeping when it's raining. It feels so calm and cold (Y)
Despite that, thank God I had my nap just now though. An hour nap to refresh myself from the fatigue and lack of sleep.

I feel like it's obvious that it's the Pick-Up Lines Season. Luen has been with his pick-up lines for a long time, same goes to Izzud. Stalking people's profile on Facebook makes it a tad bit obvious too. The great part is, the lines are sweet and cute. I bet if you have a boyfriend and he says one of those pick-up lines, you might be melting like a butter on a hot toast. One of Luen's pick-up lines today :

Can I take a picture of you ? Cause I wanna show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Cute, no ? If you don't agree, then fine. You go with your thoughts, I'll go with mine :)

School was great as usual. I was talking non-stop and fast like a train, laughed like someone just said something that was so funny but actually it was nothing, get me ?
I'm so clueless about the prefects duty cause I have to take care of the stairs at the Form 3's block. What to take care of if the students are still in their classes ? Plus, all the rempits hangout at the stairs where I should be taking care of. Screw it, I hate being around a bunch of lifeless scumbags.

The guys bullied me by taking all of my money. I'm blaming Izreen for starting that 'game'. I had to go to each one of them cause they kept on blaming each other for taking the money. When I asked Izreen, he said that it was with Hariz or whoever. But it was actually in his spectacles' case. Then when I knew, he passed it to Boon. He hid it somewhere but I didn't know where so I pinched and hit him. The money was passed around and divided. After a few pinching here and there, a few nagging and yada yada, I got my money in the end.

I have Geography and History folios to finish up. I have to send Geography folio after Raya holidays whilst History folio before our final exams. Geography folio means stress, History folio means dope. I'm not really in the doing-folios mood but I seriously have to start at least something on Geography.
I'm being 100% serious man ! What the hell, maybe later hehehe :D

Monday, September 7, 2009

Ain't That Innocent For That Age

Luen : Why did Beyonce sang To The Left, To The Left ?
Harisah and I : ???
Luen : 'Cause black people don't have rights !

Don't you think that's just funny ? I think it is and I'm still laughing , despite the racism y'know.
Another one, Shar told us.

There was a room, if you're in it and you lie, you'll die. So this Indian guy went in it and he said, "I think I'm rich", then he died. This Chinese guy went in it and he said, "I think I'm rich," and he died too. This Malay guy, he went in and said, "I think.." and he died. Why did he die when he say I Think ?
Because Malay people can't think.

What the hell right ? It's funny, but it's racist.


Despite me being in a rush this morning, my day has been great ! Okay actually, almost every morning I'm in a rush before going to school. Blame the laziness of me waking up.

To be frank, it sorta freaks me out to see Izreen being a loner in class or just taking a nap. It's like he put a Don't Disturb sign around him that makes me stop myself from greeting him, disturb him, everything. Plus, I've just realized that he's actually sensitive. Very very sensitive. So, think before you say anything, although actually, you're making a joke, kapish ?

Back to what I'm actually talking about.
Okay, I think I talked a lot today. Just now, I talked to Harisah and laughed like it was nobody's business ( okay, memang bukan sesapa punya business pun ), cracked lame ass jokes to make Izreen fully wake up ( actually la ). Though, I think Shar and I made him laugh ? And it was just something about motorcycles, which I'm not gonna write it here hahaha.
Agama was dull and sleepy ( as usual ) but I pulled it off. I didn't sleep til Ustazah finished explaining a chapter :') I felt so hardworking for once hahaha.

Everything went as usual after that. Waiting for mom at the bus stop just now was.. different. With Wafiy irking me, teasing me sepet and everything that's related to me being spit-eyed ( Screw you ! ), as a payback, I insulted him on the incident that made him ended up with a broken leg when we were standard 6. Best betul dapat balas balik hahaha.
Tommy kept on disturbing me in school, coming from behind and say "Haa terkejut !", which obviously makes me freeze for a second, grr. Whenever he's going back, he'll look at me with that I'm-Going-Back-First,-Earlier-Than-You face cause last week, I told him that I would go back first. But he went home first -.-

Okay, I'm talking nonsense now.


So I think my Puasa tak berkat sangat, cause honestly, I still curse, I don't pray 5 times a day. Okay, actually I don't really pray.
Haih, the devil inside of me, on my left and right shoulders are just too strong I guess ? :'(

Rafieqa has migrated to Tumblr and looking at her Tumblr, although there's just only 2 posts, it looks very eye-catching and interesting. More insteresting that Blogger, really.
I'm still thinking if I should delete my blogger and migrate to Tumblr, or not ? Haih, this. is. hard :o

Sunday, September 6, 2009


I have the feeling that I would hate myself.
Somehow la :/

In Between

After being unable to fast for exactly 7 days ( Thank God it's only 7 days ), I've started fasting again today. It wasn't a warm welcome for me to wake up again at 5am after 7 days of waking up at 10am and not waking up at 5am. Plus, I'm getting the hang of starving.
Okay, what the hell am I talking about. Long story short, I feel a bit weird after 7 days of not fasting and today, I'm fasting. System tak betul lagi hahaha.

Went out with Shar, Harisah, Miera and Mia yesterday. Met Qallif and Iman in front of Zero-Hour and just sat in front of Burger King for what, an hour ? Iman kept on bragging on how hungry he was. And sitting in front of Burger King ain't pretty for him haha. Shar went away with Najib and Tada, while Harisah, Miera, Mia and me watched UP. It was good and touching somehow :')
Since Harisah and I weren't fasting, we made a stop at Pop Pop and bought 2 plastics of sweets and Poifull. A lot of sweets that they cost RM36 altogether. Sneaked 'em into the cinema and I ate of course. Nasib baik orang sebelah orang Cina hahaha.

After the movie, Syafiq told me that he just walked into the cinema to watch UP. Alone ! Kesian betul hahaha.
So we met up with Shar. Huwaida and Natalia were there, didn't talk that much with them. Browsed around, went from one shop to another. Luck wasn't by my side cause I didn't find any nice tops. A few cool tank tops in Forever 21, Pull and Bear and Miss Selfridge caught my eyes but I didn't have enough money.
Bought a few things from Four Skin (Y)
Anyway, we buka puasa at Burger King and hung out at the rooftop for awhile.
Had 2 games of foosball with the twins and Harisah, whilst Shar, Huwaida and Natalia went somewhere else. I'd say the twins won both of the matches just because of luck hahaha ;p
Chocolate Lounge was calling us so we went without Shar and the others. Had Queen of Rock 'n' Roll. Guilty pleasure ! Sumpah sedap gila nak mati :9
Before going home, we went to Zara cause Harisah wanted to search for a cardigan. Baju kat Zara pun ada yang lawa :') Damn, I'll be saving money for shopping someday !
Mom didn't let me use the laptop last night so I watched TV instead and texted people. It rained heavily last night, I like :')

  • This is an unreasonable post, right ? Wth, I just feel like posting something, screw you
  • It was fun tricking Sabrina last night. Thanks to Izzud too. She called me immediately, told her a few white lies and told her that I was just lying. Best betul dengar dia excited for nothing :') hahahaha
  • Syafiq, best tak kena pukul dengan Uzair sebab panggil I dengan cara rempit ? Tu la, cakap lagi kat I padan muka kena pukul dengan Qallif and Iman :p


Friday, September 4, 2009

Deranged Outburst

I deleted my ranting and unreasonable posts just for the sake of it. And now, here I am, filled with boredom, hesitating to start a conversation with anyone on MSN. Yes, I'm very lucky, no ? :(

My days after the holiday have been boring, messed up, stressful, good, all wrapped up in one. Technically, it's normal la kan. If you read my latest post which I just deleted, then you'll know why I've been pissed off for the past few days. Therefore, recently I'm this girl who gets annoyed easily. Even a small matter, I'll be annoyed. And if I hear people whining about stuff, I'll be extremely annoyed.

To be frank, I rather go to school than staying home doing nothing or maybe get lectured by mom for no reason. School is just the right place where I can really blend in with people and be happy y'know. Seriously, I'm happier and I feel great when I'm in school, with all those loonies than staying home and be the second maid. You bet, I'm the second maid in this house. Okay, I'm not gonna brag or whatsoever. Moving on..
Did typical things in school, had fun bursting into fits of laughter, spent time with the gang, cracked up lame ass jokes and random conversations. Luen being the same ol' shmuck, same goes to Izreen.
Long story short, school has been the same, just the way I like it 8)

Right now I'm just so bored, I can eat a shoe.
I wrote that on Facebook and Luen commented, "I see you have embraced randomosity". Dari mana dia dapat perkataan Randomosity pun tak tahu lah hahahaha.
I can't believe that he doesn't know that I am actually random, aiyoo.
I feel like I want to have a conversation with someone, just for the sake of typing things. I feel like I wanna crack random lame jokes cause I'm in dire need of HAHAHA, you dig ? Who should I start a conversation with ?
Fine, I'll start with Dydy and Harisah. Now, where the hell is that 0.38% black guy, Luen ?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


School started today and Dydy went back to Sarawak yesterday. That means I'm back to my mundane life.
Yesterday, I missed Mr. Nathan's 3 hours class which started at 12.30pm. Why did I miss it ? 'Cause I woke up at 12.30pm. And for that, mom and dad scolded me and lectured me ( the usual ). As the friggin' punishment, I couldn't online for the whole day. So, being my normal, lazy-self, I watched TV. By doing exactly that pulak, I received a tirade from mom.
So technically, for the past two days, I've been receiving a whole lots of lectures and all from mom, for no apparent reason -.-
Anyway, I persuaded dad to let me use the laptop and he did. It was easy okay &^%$#.
I was in dire need of using the laptop cause I wanted the pictures from Dydy. I was desperate enough til I told her not to off her laptop and I would do the same, then we shared folders, so I would get the pictures by the time I woke up. We did exactly that, now I have all the pictures I want (Y)

I can't stop looking at the pictures cause they remind me of the splendid times I had for the whole time Dydy was here :')
Pictures do mean a lot, no ? I'll print out some of the pictures and put it into my frame when I have the time, just for the sake of reminiscing the memories.

School was okay. Albeit it has only been a week, I miss the school atmosphere y'know. Seeing people in school uniforms, people with new hairstyle, people with tanned skin, etc. Thank God the atmosphere was cold, so I didn't sweat (Y) I like.
But, nothing interesting happened yet. Unless, lending my calculator to Izzud and when he gave me back after school, he put a thank you note in it is something interesting haha. Don't think so !
Tomorrow will and must be better than today, I hope *fingers crossed*

Age Calculator on Facebook :

I was born on a Thursday and since my birthday,
I've been living for 14 years,
I've been living for 174 months,
I've been living for 753 weeks,
I've been living for 5,276 days,
I've been living for 126,632 hours,
I've been living for 7,597,926 minutes,
I've been living for 455,875,572 seconds,
I've breathed for more than 72,500,058 times,
I've blinked my eyes for more than 76,850,085 times,
My heart has beaten more than 531,854,820 times.

Uber cool !