Friday, November 27, 2009

Hi Ma, You're 54 !

Today, 27th November '09 marks the 54th birthday mama is celebrating. Yes, she's 54. You'll be surprised if you know my dad's age but this post is not about anyone else. Just mama :)

Start it off with, I love you :) Those ups and downs moments are normal.
She's a mom and a best friend too. I mean, I tell her about the guy I like, every single details and sometimes, she give advices on what to do and there are some opinions that I actually agree on. Sometimes she does say things that are totally absurd but they turn out to be funny after all.
She used to tell me how she adopted me. She said, she found me in a box outside of the house when my dad was going to work. Hahahaha that story still cracks me up til now :')

Through all the arguments, I know that she still loves me as a daughter of her own. Through all the breakdowns and the tears that roll down my cheeks because of her words that tend to break me into millions of pieces, I love her no matter what. Why ? C'mon, she accepts me for who I am, she has been taking care of me since I was new to this world. Although I'm just an adopted daughter, we do not have any blood relation, those things do not stop me from loving her as a mom and I hope, those things do not stop her from loving me as a daughter, despite me not being her real daughter.

I might have bragged about things that I should not brag about. Maybe about my mom or about me being an adopted daughter. If only I can find a less cliche word than sorry, Ill say it. But I guess I'm just capable of saying sorry.
Ma, I'm sorry for everything I did that might or do offended you.
May you have an impeccable 54th birthday. InsyaAllah, you'll live longer and see me married hahaha. I hope :)

I love you

Gazillions of x's and o's and mucho love,
Wani, Adik, Amoi Hitam hahahaha ssshhhh

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

: What will happen after SPM then ?

Hah, you tell me.
Waiting doesn't seem useful.
So maybe the right answer is, Nothing will happen after SPM.
Right ?

Help Me, Chief

I'm not gonna confess nor am I going to do anything.
Confessing first is not my thang.
Go with the flow sounds nice.
Yeah, go with the flow without any expectations of the boy to have mutual feeling.
End up hurt sounds possible but it's obvious that I can't do anything if that happens, right ?
I just have to deal with the reality.


How's your holidays going ?
I've been going in and out of the house. Another 2 days straight at OU and yes, I'm bored of it already.
Went to OU yesterday with Miera, Mia and Mel, with only RM60 left in my purse after lunch, it didn't feel nice at all ! Had my eyes on a few pretty things but I couldn't afford 'em with only RM60. Ended up buying a top from Forever 21 with a help from Miera. Thank yous for lending me RM10. I will pay you back, that's for sure :)
For your information, I hate coming back home with only receipts or coins in my purse so yesterday was definitely one of those days. I felt like banging my head against the wall ! Let alone the amount of money left in my tabung. When I open it and look inside, I feel like crying my eyeballs off. Okay, exaggerating much but I seriously do feel so blegh, y'know ?
Today, followed mom to OU, along with my brother and sister for that Jusco JCard sale thingymajiggy. I should smack myself for wearing heels cause I knew that we would walk around Jusco the whole time. Anyway, kakak wanted to buy a lot of those baby stuff cause well, her baby will be saying hello to the world in another 2 weeks+. She's excited about it til she doesn't even think about the pain she'll be going through -.-
So we spent half of the day at OU, each of us bought a few things. I bought a bag and a pair of heels. Thank yous Mama <3
Okay, sumpah penat.

I have a thang for lacy and studded things, really. My eyes will be like this -> O.O if I see a beautiful studded or lacy thing. Ah,

My plans to throw away the books that I'm not and won't be using anymore and to complete the picture frames haven't even started yet. I have to print out the new pictures I have and stick it, replacing the old ones. Then I have to hang it, done ! Sounds easy, but it's actually a lot of work. Too many distractions. That's the reason why I can't complete these tasks, mhmm. I shall start tomorrow *fingers crossed*

Monday, November 23, 2009

You Know It's True

I feel like we're different now.
We don't have the kind of conversation we always have anymore.
I can't find a topic to talk about anymore.
It's like, my mind would just go blank in a split second.
And you have no idea how much I hate silent moments, but now, silent moments occur quite often between us.
Awkward, I tell you.
What is happening ?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Don't Make Me

Sorry for the lack of update. I've been pretty busy for the past few days. Okay, maybe not. Maybe I've been lazy to on this laptop and online. Plus, since Syafiq has been at his grandmother's house since Friday, I don't really have anyone to talk with on MSN. Another reason for me not to online as usual.

I've been wondering, when will I send my half-dead laptop here for a reformat and repair ? Its fan is driving me crazy and it's just screwed ! I'll ask dad how long will it takes to get it done with everything. If it's too long, I have to find a way to keep on track with my social life. Takut nanti bila online online je, Harisah tegur kat MSN, "OMG MANA YOU MENGHILANG ?! I ADA BANYAK CERITA !". Boleh je heart attack okay.

I bet those workers in OU saw me there a lot of times this week cause I've been going there this whole week. Okay, not everyday but around 4 days out of a week ? Went to catch 2012 on Wednesday with the twins, had lunch at Chillis on Friday with Harisah, the twins, Shar and Izreen. Izreen was being a gent that day cause he followed Miera and I into Cotton On, Forever 21, Pull & Bear and Topshop. I didn't know that he wouldn't care to follow us girls around to shop. He said, "Dah biasa dah dengan ____". I'm surprised haha. While on Saturday which was yesterday, met up with the twins and Mel while my sister, her husband, my brother and 2 of my cousins went to watch 2012. And just now, followed my sister to search for something there. Yes, 4 days out of a week I went to OU. Dah bosan la jugak.
But if I have $$$, not just receipts in my purse, I don't mind going there again :D HAHA.

You know what, I think I have to occupy my time much more better, than just going out. Yeah, I should stay indoor, play video games and bond with my family HAHA, I should !
Okay, this is a boring and meaningless post -.-

P.S : Tell me, how wild can you be now ?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

All The Carpets Fade To Grey

You should try listening to Stupid Memory and Two Way Monologue by Sondre Lerche. Kudos to Dat, he made me fall in love with Sondre Lerche. No doubt that he looks cute and his songs are awesome (Y)

Can I tell you once more, for the hundredth time that I envy those people who have long and skinny legs, which equals to them successfully working out their shorts/short skirts ? And I envy those people who have confidence on wearing shorts too. Although they don't have skinny legs, they don't care. As long as they look good, then that's just enough. I know I know, we shouldn't be wearing clothes that are too revealing but well.. Haih, you know what I mean.

I hate deciding on something that has its fair share of pros and cons. It's really really confusing. Like now, I don't know if I should resign from being a prefect or not. I want to resign cause I don't think I can hold the responsibility to be one anymore but if I resign, how about my sijil later ? It won't be pretty right ? Plus, I'm not that active in co-curriculum. This sucks, really.

Tomorrow will be our last day of school and the next time I step into the school, I'll officially be a PMR candidate. That's when I have to start motivate myself into more studying, less wasting time. Yes, I have to stop being lazy. Impossible ? Yeah, but I have to make it possible. For my own sake jugak.

Just now, I had Civic and Pendidikan Jasmani papers. Didn't study at all but I could answer 'em, especially Civic. Common sense okay ! There weren't any questions that were based from the text book, pfftt. Tomorrow, I'll be sitting for Arts paper. Shitty.
School's half empty, since only Form 2s and Form 5s are present. How unfair right. They've (form 4s and 3s) finished school while us form 2s are sitting for bloody exams. Unimportant subjects pulak tu !
Thank God, tomorrow's the last day of school. Although I'm not really looking forward to 2010.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Be Not Nobody

It's a full house right now. Kak Ain took over kakak's room, kakak took over Harris' room so Harris has to sleep in the guest room. This house is rarely full so it feels a bit different now :)

How was your day ? My day was dull, sort of. Dragged my ass to school after missing 3 Mondays hahaha. Felt a bit weird wearing the prefects formal uniform. Assembly was longer cause the form 5s had this restu thingy where they ask for forgiveness from the teachers. I kept on telling Azi that there's a high chance that I'll cry next year when it's our form 3s turn. But, we'll see ;) Us prefects had our own too. We lined up at the back and the form 5s prefects asked for our forgiveness too. I almost cried but I didn't cause Azi was beside me, which made crying impossible hahaha. I didn't go into class at all today. Miera and I wandered around aimlessly the whole time. We didn't have anywhere else to go. It was raining so we couldn't sit at those round tables near teacher's room and teacher scolded us when we sat at the hall. So the only thing we could do was wander around while Harisah and Shar were stuck in the Bengkel KH since they haven't finished their work :D

My laptop here is half dead. Its fan is annoying cause it's noisy. But I have no idea when will I finish transferring all the pictures and songs into my thumb drives. Yes, I'm using 3 thumb drives. My songs do not fit into an 8G thumb drive hahaha. My brother went like, "Kau ni macam iTunes version manusia punya, belambak gila lagu". What to do, I love music hahaha.

Living around hypocrites ain't pretty. When you know that someone has been talking about you behind your back does actually make you feel like you have no one to trust anymore. But what's life if you don't trust anyone, no ? To be frank, I'm not even sure if I trust myself, if I believe in myself. Is that bad ? I think it is.

You know what, if I don't get to transfer everything into my thumb drive by tonight, I'll finish it up tomorrow. Then I'll be laptop-less for the next few days ): Oh what the hell, curi curi guna Harris punya hahaha. Then tomorrow I'll clean my room, organize everything, oh yeah. Oh and and, I have to make sure I have enough credit to wish the form 5s goodluck tomorrow. God, tomorrow will be a busy day. Tu pun, if nothing distracts me lah hahaha.

Tally ho !

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Is This For Real ?

I have a friend who said, "Perasaan tak boleh halang". I totally agree but the feeling of having a crush on someone whom you least expecting it, is just.. out of words. It's full of surprises but at the same time, it leaves you with curiosity and questions. Maybe you disagree but I'm in this situation right now.

I just realized this feeling I have for this guy like, a few days ago. Sure, we've known each other for quite some time and I think I know him quite well for a friendship that is only less-than-a-year old. But that's not enough right ?

For your information, I'm not the kind of girl who has feelings for a guy whom I just meet. No, love at first sight is not in my dictionary as it symbolizes lust, not love. I take it slow. So I think that's why this feeling I have for this boy just struck and made me tell 2 of my friends and actually admit that I have feelings for him.

You should know that I'm not good at describing people so I don't know how to describe him. I can tell you that he actually makes me feel comfortable. But there's nothing that proves that he has the mutual feeling so, I won't hope for anything. I'll just keep in mind that he's a friend, a bestfriend actually and this feeling I have for him will go away and have to go away. Cause c'mon, it's just impossible for him to have feelings for me.

So cliche, no ?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Running Through Fields Of Hitch-Hikers

Sorry for the lack of update. Blame the laziness ! Damn, I have a lot to share with you people so this post might be long. I warn you now. If you're not a fan of long palavers, you may press Alt+F4 :)



I was restless the whole day cause I just couldn't wait for Aainaa's party. It turned to be really really fun. Awesome party, Aainaa ;)
Arrived at her condo around 5 something and went right upstairs. The party started at 6-ish. We took pictures and talked. A lot of people came and there were even Afiq, Aris and Kah Meng. Semua sombong dah hahaha, but all of 'em still look the same though.
Didn't really plan on swimming but a few persuasions here and there made me change my mind and clothes haha. Then got pushed into the pool. See Izreen, your plan friggin' worked ! -.- Swam around, took pictures yet again and you know, did the usual things we always do at a party. I didn't really eat a lot cause I knew I would be in the pool later so why should I make my tummy full no ?
Unfortunately, Miera's camera which had all of the pictures, went into the pool. I don't really know the whole story of how the camera went into the pool but what I know is that, Alyssa was swinging the camera and it was separated from the string thingy, the camera hit Izreen's head and fell into the pool. Mhmm. The camera was dead but the memory card was still good (Y)
Around 9-ish, Fadhli, Harisah, Azrie and I went to Rasta. We walked there, using the SP's way, passed by the cemetery ! My heart was beating really fast, it felt like it would stop immediately okay. Thank God we arrived at Rasta safely. Hakim, Mel and Aznida were there so we joined them. Stayed there til 10.30pm and my sister picked me up and sent Harisah home.
I dragged myself into the bathroom to take a bath and fell asleep right after. Penat gila !


You guessed it correctly - I skipped school. Not just me, of course. Miera and Harisah too. We thought it would a waste of time to go to school since we've finished our finals so, there wouldn't be anything to do in school perhaps ? Anyway, Harisah disturbed me when I was sleeping by calling me at 9.30am ! I was still tired from Aainaa's party the day before but thanks for 'waking' me up. Mom came into my room and said, "If you wanna follow me to OU, get ready now. 10.30 I'm going already", while turning on the lights and opened the curtain. Not a right way to wake people up, really -.-
I had 30 minutes to get ready and usually, I need more than 30 minutes to get ready. So I rushed through my wardrobe, hair-dried my hair as fast as I can and all, in 3o minutes. I hate being in a rush. But I had to follow mom to OU cause Miera and Harisah planned to have a movie marathon.
When my sister and I were at Jusco with mom to shop for groceries, I took that chance to ask mom for a permission to join those two girls and she gave me a green light.
Shar was at OU too, I saw her in front of Jusco. So, while waiting for Miera, Mia and Harisah to arrive (which took them AGES), I followed Shar. Met up with the girls near Edmundser and walked around for awhile. Had lunch at Subway and watched The Time Traveller's Wife right after. It was actually at 2.30pm but we went in around 2.50pm, which resulted to us, not understanding the movie. I understood it a bit but well, I think I should buy the DVD later. The best part of the movie was when Miera fell down after we went out of the movie. That was what I called as an entertainment ! Hahahaha. Everyone looked at us but all I could do was laugh.
Met up with Hakim and Mel at Burger King for awhile and hung out with them til 6.30-ish.


School was hectic, seriously. I dragged my ass to school since us girls ; Miera, Harisah, Shar and I told Cikgu Fadzli we would help him to key in the Geography marks. We thought that we were done with it, so we asked Cikgu Fadzli for more work to do since we were too lazy to go into our class. We ended up knowing that we did our work wrongly so we had to recheck everything and key in the marks all over again. I went upstairs, downstairs back and forth for hundreds of times, I was sweating bullets. Dah la the weather was hot ! I bet I burnt a lot of calories hahahahaha. Okay wth, anyway, we finished the job earlier than we thought we would. Wasted our time at the dewan terbuka and balik ! I slept throughout the evening, without even bothering to take a bath hahaha, shut up.

That's all I guess. Today, I skipped school cause yesterday was really really boring. Tak buat apa apa pun kat sekolah -.- Such a waste of time. Instead, we played cards.

Now, I hope I can go to Flynniversary !

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I'm Addicted To The Thrill

I didn't spend my time being a couch potato today ! Usually, I would lock myself in my room and mind my own business, although I don't have anything interesting in my room other than my laptop which is under my parents' authorization and Astro which doesn't have channel 714, 713, 712, 711 and cartoon channels hahaha.

Anyway so, what did I do today ?
Oh right, had lunch at Delicious with ze sister and parents. Shared Carbonara Spaghettini with kakak since we ate 2 bungkus of nasi lemak for breakfast. Mind us, we were hungry ! Headed to Zara right after lunch cause I've been searching for a new pair of skinny jeans since last week and I was in dire need for a new pair. Got my hands on a denim skinny jeans but I looked at my myself in the mirror, wearing it, I looked fat really. Sumpah kaki nampak besar, although memang pun besar, you dig ? Hahahaha lantak lah. Okay anyway, had to cut it short a bit since it was a bit labuh. So in a week, I'll get it haih. Spent almost an hour in there since the service was a bit slow and had a hard time choosing the right pair. Dah la banyak orang and that sales person guy was from Sarawak or somewhere lah. Tak faham bahasa kot and a newbie I guess ? Lembab okay, lembab. By the time we went out from the store, mom called, telling us to meet her near Burger King. But kakak and I planned to cut our hair and all so mom and left us there. Headed to Infinity and kakak cut her hair short, pfftt what a waste. While I was just so stupid, I told the hair stylist person, that I wanted her to make my hair layered not cut it. Padahal, I wanted to cut my hair a bit shorter since it's long now. SO she layered it only. Right at this moment, my hair is as long as it was yesterday if you know what I mean. I'll so drag my sister to that Quick Cut shop to cut my hair hahahaha, serious ni ! Rambut dah panjang sampai bawah tali bra, lebih sikit y'know. Rimas blegh.

Came home and did nothing but eat, talk with my sister and online.
Can't wait for tomorrow's party. Many people will be there and I can feel the fun that I'm gonna have tomorrow. Oh yeah !

Three Cheers

Bid adieu to the last exam I'll be sitting for this year just now at 12pm and was giddy to enjoy every bits of freedom I have til 2010 starts. Freedom does taste sweet huh ? :)
Well, despite I still have a few papers to sit on the 19th and 20th of November which are PJK, Sivik and Seni paper 1. Nope, not gonna study. Maybe I'll do a last minute reading y'know. I don't think I have the mood to open any books anymore.

So, History wasn't nice nor pretty.. At all ! I went blank, seriously. I was confident of my answers for certain questions only while the other questions, I'll leave it to luck. I hope I get an A 'cause I need an A, of course.
How about Science paper 1 ? It went well. Wasn't really hard like I thought it would be. Thank God there was only a few question from Form 1's chapters. That last paper of the day was relaxing :D
Waited for the time to strike 12. When it did and teacher stood up to collect our papers, I felt like jumping and screaming. Why ? I have no idea either but damn, it felt good.

I slept at 4.30am last night. That was why I posted that post before this one, you dig ? Anyway, I slept for only 2 hours. Caught up on my lack of sleep at 2pm just now til 5pm. Tidur tak nyenyak punya, that's why I'm feeling sleepy right now. Oh right, I am sleepy !
I'm gonna hit the sheets, zzz.

Friday, November 6, 2009

For A Little While

"Why not ? Cause I'm *insertname*" - Bak kata Andy HAHA.

  • It's 3.02am and I'm having my History paper in around 5 hours.
  • Planned with Harisah to study and stay up late. But ended up planning not to sleep at all.
  • Had only a cup of coffee and I'm still not sleepy yet. Before this, a few cups of coffee left me with sore eyes by 2am okay ! -.-
  • Just started on chapter 5 of History and haven't started anything on Science which consists of form 1 chapters too.
  • So, I'm still screwed !
  • Post finals plans are all set :D Okay, not perfectly set and all but I have a few things in mind already.
  • Time flies by really fast. The next thing I'll know is that I'm officially a PMR candidate *gulps*
  • Okay, continuing on my History !

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Lets Make The Ground Shake

Hello November, why do you come so fast ?
Now now, despite the excitement of the long holiday that's coming my way, I don't think I have had enough of this year. No, not the dramas. I'm talking about the fun. The best class a girl could ever wish for ! What if next year, the back of the class gang will be separated ? I'll cry, literally. Okay, whatever it is, Izreen Luen Harisah Miera and Shar have to be by my side next year. Or else...

Haih, why do they have to do the friggin' streaming ? What's the point actually ? What's wrong with us being in the same class for another year ?

Next year will definitely be different cause 1) I'll officially be a PMR candidate, where the tense and stress will overrule my body and mind. I can feel and imagine what I'll be going through next year. Oh, amazing ! (You have to sense the sarcasm, okay). 2) Hello new block ! I wonder what will it feel like to study under your lonely roof since you're not connected to any other blocks. 3) With the form 5s out of the school, you have to admit the atmosphere will be different. Slightest difference pun mesti ada punya, betul tak ?

Okay, enough about this.

Yesterday's mission to study til the break of dawn..


Dozed off at 2am due to a headache. A stupid headache. Fanbleedingtastic -.-
So now I'm off to start on my Maths and..
Shit, what's coming out coming out for English literature paper 2 ?!