Bond

Me : Kau tahu, kau nganga mulut kau and besar tu la vajayjay (vagina) boleh expand
Harris : Serious ? *nganga mulut*
Me : HAHAHAHA asal kau nganga mulut ? Cite ah kau ada vajayjay !
Harris : Babi, it's sorta like a reaction to your LAME joke
Me : Uhuh hahahaha


Me : Kak, cuba nganga mulut *nganga mulut* and besar tu la vajayjay kau boleh expand *keningkening*
Kakak : Omg, kecik gila
Me : HAHAHA bodoh, besar la tu. Kau nak besar mana lagi ? -____-
Kakak : Entah haha. But kakak tahu Wani punya sah besar. HAHAHA memang besar pun !
Me : HA-HA very funny. Aku gak kena balik kan ?
Kakak : Of course !
Me : You're just being lame.
Kakak : Nope, I'm just being cool.
Me : L-L-L-LAME *slams the door*


That's just how we bond hahaha

-----

Oh and, have I told you that last Monday, during PJ, we had to check our weight and height for the Ujian Kecergasan.
And guess what, my weight is 39 kg. BUT my height is only 154 cm :(
Tak apa, pendek itu comel hahahaha.
I'm so proud that I'm only 39 kg. But I bet right now, I'm already 40 something. That sucks.
I need to start on my jogging again. I've been taking a break from jogging for quite a long time.

Die In Peace

• I don't know my reasons but as far as I know, I'm all to myself nowadays. I don't think I've been telling anyone about a single thing on what's going on with me. Sorry Izreen for not telling you what I wrote just now !
• I feel like it's hard to trust people. There are just too many backstabbers and hypocrites walking around. It's like the rate backstabbing and hypocrisy have rise.
• I haven't been in a good mood recently. Should I blame the pms or myself for just thinking about everything that's going on around me ?
• Everyone's starting to be a bunch of bitches and assholes.
• I think I should be shooting people's head now. Yeah, that'll totally make me feel better

Oh No

I haven't been in the mood since yesterday cause of certain reasons.
So, sorry to anyone that I've not been treating well or anything. Sorry to anyone that had a dull conversation with me. Yknow, without the laugh and humour.

I'm feeling weird myself cause I was ecstatic. Suddenly the next day, it faded away just like that. How something very very small can just change my mood and all, at a speed of light, no ?


Right now, I just don't get it. Why is everything starting to be like last year ?
I'm feeling annoyed, embarrassed, everything wrapped up as one.
Him and I have nothing anymore. No flings, nothing.
I'm not even sure if we're considered as friends ! Let alone the term 'close friends' right.

We rarely talk now cause well, I don't have the guts anymore to text him and I'm just absolutely sure that he won't start texting me.
Whenever he's online, I'll hesitate to say Hi cause somehow, it hurts if he doesn't reply or he replies in a way that makes me feel like he doesn't even wanna talk to me.
Conclusion is, I'm actually scared of having a conversation with him. Because if we do, and if he turns out to be a complete ass, no offense, I'll be like how I am right now.

Dammit, I'm bragging like a complete idiot again.
Screw me.

Live Storyland

Yesterday was SMKTTDI's Prefects Dinner or should I say, the best Prefects Dinner in my 2 years of being a prefect in that school.
Kudos to the form 4s who organized the dinner and made it my or maybe all of the prefects' best prefect's activity for this year. Two thumbs up ! (Y)(Y)

The theme was storyland so we had to dress up as any character. But I wore a dress and a shawl only.
I planned to go to the salloon and wash and blow my hair. But my dad didn't let me. So my hair was just normal ( Rough, kembang and yada yada -_- )
Anyway, Azi came to my house at 6.30pm and we rushed to dress up since Dad said we're going out at 7.
Azi dressed up as a witch and oh, she straightened her hair and she had bangs. Nenek maju ;) Hahaha.

When we entered our hall, we went straight to our tables. I sat at table 7 and there were Luen, Fareez, Hariz, Aidil, Boon Kheng, Hazeem, Zul, Aneesa and Wardah.
But later, Wardah changed place with Azi (Y)
They had a grand entrance for the form 5s and then the form4s started their performance.
After the speeches and whatnot, we could proceed to the buffet table and eat. But I didn't have the appetite cause I was having a flu and asthma.
But I shared a few bites with Azi and grabbed 2 slices of watermelons.
DIET ! Hahahaha

The form 3 performed a sketch which was great, really !
A round of applause to them. Very very entertaining and it could make you laugh laugh and laugh (Y)
Damn, I should've taken a video of the sketch or something.

I actually was looking forward to watch the form 2's performance, although I told Azi that I'll excuse myself and get out of the hall when the form 2s are on stage. And I told Luen that maybe, the performance would be a bore.
But I think that happened cause I've missed a lot of their practices so I didn't know their progress and whatnot.
Now, I would love to give two thumbs up to Carlos for doing such a terrific job of making that GREAT performance. And also to the others who were in the performance too.
Gosh, you guys did a great job singing Heal The World by Michael Jackson, while holding the candles. You guys made the others sing along ! Even I sang along too :') And there were others who were holding their phones and swing it. Ala, yknow what I mean hahaha
And and, when you guys went down the stage with the candles, walked around the hall and singing. Omg :')
Even Kaveetha stood up and sang along. She screamed "Heal The World !" hahaha.
Guess what, because of that superb performance, I'm actually listening to Heal The World by Michael Jackson, RIGHT NOW.
I recorded a few parts only, for only a few seconds. I have no idea why. Stupid, stupid me :'(
And how about the dance ? That was an entertainment either cause well, by watching Carlos danced, hahahaha. It was funny *no offence*. But well, I bet all eyes were on you !
Oh ya, they danced to Here I Come by Fergie. I underestimated that too.
Don't worry, right now, there's a gigantic size of guilt in me.
If I was sitting at my table, I would give you guys a standing ovation to the Heal The World performance, really :')))
AH, I'M SO PROUD, I'M SO HAPPY, I COULD JUST CRY RIGHT NOW *okay, maybe too dramatic, but wth* :D

And there were another performance I think ? I forgot.
But I remembered they had a slideshow titled "Who's Bad ?", starring all form 5 boys prefects. It was funny hahahaha.
I was laughing my arse off with Azi !
I'll give you the URL, since I don't how to add a video from youtube hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82MRCRqriq4
ENJOY !

The form 5s sang Leaving On A Jet Plane and then, Ruiz said something like, it would be their last performance and all.
Pn Haniza and Pn Hazlin went on stage, hugged the girls and shaked hands with the guys. It was an emotional moment, really. There were a few people cried and the teachers cried too. The guys went down the stage and hugged Cikgu Azhar.
Mmm :')

Oh oh, the games were fun to watch. Kaveetha was searching for another girl to go up the stage cause they had to find another girl.
Btw, Hariz and whoever shouted my name -_-
But I didn't want to and all, so I didn't go, heh.
It was a dance thingymajiggy. You can't have physical contacts but just dance to the song. Man was being cruel to the form 1 girl hahahaha.
Lastlast, Azzaim and Eleena won. Yeah, they were great (Y)

The second game was a bit like Treasure Hunt but we had to solve the clues and all. We lost though cause we could only find two things, grrr.

When the dinner ended :'( , we had a photo session inside the hall.
So, THE END.

P/S : I think, cerita kat atas tu, tak ikut urutan cause I can't remember the urutan. Hehe, sorry !

Pictures - Myspace :)

Pop It, Lock It, Drop It

I just love my header's picture hahaha

Ink Stained Brain

HAHA okay, I'm done.

---

This reminds me of Fahmi, somehow hahaha.
Don't you think it's just like you, Fahmi ? :p

The Oh-So-Nice Sister Is An Old Bitch !

You see that walking skeleton ? That's Huzaibah Abu Zarim, my sister.
Y'see, that's not her shirt. That's my brother's. She says, she wears his shirt because she wants to look fleshy and not skinny.
She doesn't realize, her legs are still too thin. Hahaha.
Guess what, her weight is 38kg while I'm 40 something. I hate that fact. Heck, just because she's so thin, she didn't get to be a stewardess.
I was laughing my arse off when she told me the person who interviewed her said, "Sorry, you're underweight". HAHA. You have got to see her face when she told me that ! It was so priceless.

So today, she turned 21. Yet, she doesn't look like a 21 years old girl. Or maybe I should call her, woman. A woman who still watches cartoons and acts like an immature kid haha.
Sometimes people think, I'm the big sister and she's the little sister. Can you get the picture ?
I mean, yeah, she's small and short (HAHA).
Once, we went to Dubai and that was the time when she was wearing tudung. She looked just like those Arab people there.
So there was this Arab dude who followed us, or her to be exact. You have no idea how freaked out she was hahaha.
Okay okay, I better stop talking about her physical appearance.

We are quite close. I tell her almost everything and she does the same too.
She helps me whenever I'm down. Seriously, she does.
Technically, she comes along with me, through thick and thin. And I thank her for that. Although, sometimes, her advices are just so stupid, I'll slap her and say, "Are you shitting me, Kak ?!". And we'll laugh hahaha.
She calls me Mok, Amoi Hitam -_-, Retard (Just because of my backbone) and Apek Sepet. How sweet, no ? -_-

Once, she took my phone just to take Mr. A's phone number, so I chased her up the stairs, down the stairs, around the living room, into the kitchen and in the garden. After all of that, we received a tirade from mom.
Our tradition of chasing the chickens and ducks in the village, wearing our baju kurung and selipar jepun.
Omg, if I tell you about our good times, I'll make a novel, beating J.K Rowling man ! Hahaha

Oh and, whenever she comes here, you have no idea how noisy the house is. As if there's a huge crowd in the house. Padahal dua orang perempuan yang tak boleh berhenti cakap je hahaha.
We'll start asking each other what's going on or what have we missed. And her all time favourite question : "Cmne A ?"
And that's when we start to have a long conversation.
Or maybe, we'll just gossip around. And we'll burst into fits of laughter until our tummy hurts and tears coming out.
And if she's just being a total bitch, I'll kick her ass and we'll start fighting til one of us screams, "MAAA, TENGOK KAKAK !" or "MAAA, TENGOK WANI !".

Okay, I'm utterly out of words.
I can't stop laughing cause I remember once, she didn't realize my door was locked. I think she planned to surprise me by opening the door and shout, "Mok !". But since my door was locked, she hit it. Real hard.
HAHAHA.
Aaahh I like those times :')

So, I better go to bed.
Last but not least,

Happy 21st Birthday, Huzaibah "Batang Lidi" Abu Zarim :D
*Fireworks*

Forward Can't Be Stopped

I've lost count on how many friends I've lost in the past few weeks or maybe past few days.
There's one because of the attitude that I don't think I can ever accept.
There's one because of the misunderstanding that made me feel like, there's no trust in the friendship since that person believed on someone he/she dislikes.
Can you accept that ? Well, keep your answer to yourself cause right here, right now, you'll hear me out, bragging about what's going on in my life.
If you just hate reading people's bragging, get out then. It's not like I give a flying tuck.

I'm too tired of going through a pretty rough rocky road.
This year has been by far, the most stressful, problematic year of my life. Hands down.
There's just a lot of misunderstandings, misjudges and just everything that's just wrong, false.
Everytime I walk in school, I feel like people are giving me the stare behind my back. As if I have a dirty stain on my uniform or I'm carrying a sign that's saying, "Look Here and Give Me That Bitchy Stare Of Yours. I Freaking Deserve It".
I know, there's a few or a huge number of people talk bad things about me. I know I'm a total bitch, a total fucker who deserves every single curse that exists in this world, every single bad talk that exists, everything that's just bad enough to make me look like an ugly poop or the ugliest human being that ever existed.
Is it me or am I just being too pessimistic ?
No, I won't really say that I'm starting on the pessimist theory here. I'm just writing what I'm feeling.
What I think that's revolving around me.

Because of all these feelings that are circling in my head, I'm starting to lose confidence of myself. I'm starting to feel like everything I do, every single thing is wrong. Totally wrong.
The way I walk, the way I talk, the way I treat people, the way I do my duty, etc.
Total lack of confidence I tell you.

And I've always put myself into a fight that's not worth a penny.
Even my mom says that.
All this while, I do realize that all the fights I've put myself in are not worth it. I don't even ask for a fight actually but it just turned out to be one.
Why ? Due to our immaturity, due to our foolishness, due to our egoistic-self.
Izreen was right about no one in this world is not ego.
I've been wasting my time on things that I should not even care, on things that I'm not even suppose to give a damn about but just for the sake of making things right, I tend to care.
And when I do care, I will, I must make that thing right !
But then, it'll turn out wrong. It'll turn out the way that I don't and never wish it'll be.
At the same time, no one does and will even understand the reason why I do it. Nope, not even a single a human being.
Even if any of 'em try to understand or maybe do understand, they don't understand the reason 100%. No one will !

I don't know what else I'm suppose or can say. I can brag everything about what I'm feeling right now til dawn.
But I'm too speechless. Too clueless. Too stupid to write another single thing.
Gosh, I feel like tearing my hair out.
I feel like I want to fly solo from now on. Just settle things by myself, mhm.
By doing that, I won't get myself into any other nonsensical, stupid misunderstandings, fights or whatnot.
I'll just be on my own, so no one can blame me for anything. Cause if I'm on my own, my mistakes are my problem.
Yeah yeah, I'll fly solo, I'll do things my own way.
And I'm doing this cause I can't bear being accused of doing things that I didn't even do.
Those accusations happen just because no one tries to even find out the truth. That's just too stupid. Pure idiosyncrasy.

And as you all know, I'll be utterly pissed whenever anyone just accuse me or bitch around about me for no reason.
Yes, I tend to not care cause what the hell, you're showing to people how lifeless you are. But no, that person won't think of it that way.
That person will just think that I'm a coward for not fighting back !
God, I don't know why people nowadays can't just get a grip, take a breather and just live their lives to the fullest.

I admit, I used to bitch around too but then, I received a wake up call from my mom, sister and I just spend my free time, thinking of what's right and what's wrong.
And that's when I started to stick this into my head like a sticky-note ;
Holding Grudges/Bitch Around : Farewell.

So what the hell, I'll just go back to my mundane life.
Whatever challenges, whatever bad talks I get, I'll accept them just like that *snap finger*.
But that doesn't mean you can just cross the line like that.
Crossing the line is another topic.
This is just a story of me being fed up with people's nuisance.


Au Revoir.

I'll Give You A Smirk

Tomorrow's kakak's birthday ! *fireworks*
She told me she'll come by today but I don't know where is she, grr.
Hee, she has to come here tomorrow and as for birthday present..
I forgot to buy her something from Bangkok :(
S'okay s'okay, I'll give her a good spank on the ass and annoy her til she says, "Ish, diam ah !".
Or or, I'll just make her laugh.
Latter is better, mhmm.
I'll call her up after this and persuade her to come here tomorrow (Y)

As for school, it was quite good. How I miss the atmosphere of being in school.
Albeit I only missed school for only 3 days (Thursday, Friday and Monday), I felt excited when I was getting ready in the morning.
Though, everyone was surprised to see me I guess cause I didn't quarantine myself. I know I know, I don't even go to the hospital and had a check-up. I feel great, I look healthy so Dad says, there's no reason for me to go for a check-up.
I think right, there were a few people had that thought in their mind. Y'know, that Oh-My-God-She's-Back-In-School -_- thought hahaha.
Whilst Carlos was being a jackass by surprising me. He jumped behind me and shout, "How Was Bangkok ?!".
Grr, he made me curse ! After 5 days of not cursing (Which I'll proudly bestow myself), he had to make me curse. I felt like I wanted to just kick his ass or something.

In class, the 'Welcome Back' I received from Izreen was "H1N1 ! H1N1 !".
Yeap, good to see you too buddy -_-
Gosh, how much I miss seeing Harisah getting bullied by Izreen.
It goes like this often :

Harisah : *Laughs*
Izreen : Asal kau gelak ?
Harisah : Oh sorry.
Izreen : Asal kau sorry ?
Harisah : Mmm.
Izreen : Asal kau Mmm ?

That will just make Seng Yung's face turns pinkish red and I'll laugh silently.

And and whenever Harisah says something wrong or accuse Izreen for no reason, that will make Izreen mad, seriously.
Scary yet funny.
WARNING : Don't underestimate that 4-eyed keding, seriously. Bila dia mengamuk, tsk tsk -_- He's not even worth your time to argue with. Everything that comes out from his mouth pierces your heart like a needle and he seriously looks and sounds like a gangster. Kudos.

And the day went normal.
Had to go to Bilik Jahitan during BM and Kemahiran Teknikal students had to do the Lukisan Isometrik.
I was so clueless cause I didn't come to school yesterday. So I didn't know how to do the lukisan. I told Pn Rukkumani about it and she didn't even say a word, nor teach me how to do it.
Very nice.
I had to ask Boon "Einstein" Kheng for help but it was just a half way tutor. He 'forgot' how to do the other 2 drawings.

I wasn't really in Amali cause I had to follow Harisah to the office and all.
Padan muka tak boleh balik awal *tongues out*.
Oh, even Ustazah Ruha's eyes were like this --> O.O when I told her that I only quarantined myself for a day, which was yesterday.

Now now, let's just pray that I don't have H1N1 okay ?
It seems like everyone expects me to get it. Haih.

Last but not least,
Here's my boyfriend haha

Hi Oliver Sykes :D
I love yous :*

Technical Error

Simple is the new black ! Hardeeharhar.
So it's obvious that my font color and all are just simple black, white and red.
Just for now cause well, I like it simple.

As you can see, I missed school today.
Semalam semangat je siap beg, gosok tudung, set the alarm clock at a friggin' 6 o'clock !
When the alarm clock rang, I off it and went back to sleep cause basically, that's what I always do. And my mom would wake me up by switching on all the lights in my room and off the air-conditioner. Or if she's just being cruel, she'll pinch me. Don't underestimate her pinches man ! Sakit tak terkata :(
But not today. No one woke me up and when I was half-awake, my room was dark but it looked bright outside.
Turned out, it was already 7.30 a.m.

Sorry Harisah, overslept ah haha.
S'okay, esok aku pegi sekolah. Siapkan red carpet !

I even thought of taking a bath and asked my dad to still send me to school.
When I was thinking of all that, I fell asleep again hehe. Woke up at 11 a.m.
I guess I was just too tired.
Of course, through out that 3 nights in Bangkok, I've been sleeping late and woke up around 6 a.m.
Mana tak penat and ngantuk.
But now, my motion fatigue : Farewell !

For the past few days, there are a few numbers of people complained to me or came to me, telling me about people who are being a total bitch/asshole.
Exhibit A : Ditching someone for a group of people that you said, you hate them. What's up with that ?! I don't know what's your reason for that. Is it because you want to blend in with them, be like them ?
Exhibit B : Believing rumours without checking if they're even true or not. Especially when that true-false facts came out from the mouth of someone you hate.

God, this is making me feel lost, really.

That's all I can think of. But yeah,
Now I know what my answer to this question : What's something that irritates you to no end ?
I'll say, people with their attitudes that I'll give two thumbs down. People who wants to be exactly like others cause they think they're so cool. Why can't you be yourself ? And dah la orang orang yang dia nak ikut tu, orang-orang yang spoil -.-
People with their self-centered mind. And well, the list will just go on and on.

I won't really ramble about this cause I understand, Allah make those people that way for a reason or two. Maybe because with those people on this Earth, in our lives, life is pretty much the way it is.
Y'know, with challenges along the way, with arguments too.
What's life if there's just happiness ? Don't you think it's weird if everyone in this world has only one feeling ; happy ?
I think it's very weird hahaha.

Okay, now I'm babbling.
I think I should do Cikgu Nik's work 8) Then I shall continue reading the dictionary.
It has been awhile since the last time I hold a pen and write. I bet my writing is ugly, mhmm.
:O

Going, Going, You're Gone

As you can see, I've been away for 4 days.
Rindu blogging :')
I'll tell you about my trip to Bangkok when I get to transfer the pictures into the laptop. Though, there are just a few pictures.

Because of me being inactive, my Plurk karma falls 0.6%
S'okay, it has gone up 8)

Now, I'm in the midst of thinking, either I should go to school tomorrow or not.
I feel like I wanna go to school cause somehow, I miss school. And I will feel guilty if I don't go to school without any reasonable reason ( Although I can just say that I just came back from Bangkok )
But then, I don't wanna go to school cause I plan to fast ( Baru ganti puasa sehari ): ) and, I feel so lazy to attend KH, although the class takes only 35 minutes.
Y'see, confusing sangat hahaha
And Andy told me, there's another case of H1N1. Someone from 2 Newton
Mucker, dah la sama floor with my class *&^%$#@

Heck, maybe I should go to school. There's no point for me to stay home.
And hopefully I can go through the day in school, fasting. Haih.


Before I post this pointless post,
I'm considering you guys to listen to Owl City - Hello Seattle and Owl City - The Saltwater Room.
You'll love it, especially The Saltwater Room. Very calm :)

Paris Is Burning

I've given my word to some of my friends and even to my sister that I won't give a flying tuck about what other people say.
But when it involves my family, any one of them, I'm done pretending as if things are okay. As if I don't care what the hell you're shitting about.


Dedicating this post to that person who I've forget, actually. But somehow appear again in my life
I'm done with you, really. I've forget everything that happened.
I haven't even mentioned your name to anyone for a long time.
But from midst of nowhere, I see that you haven't done with your oh-so-fun game huh ?
You have a problem with me but you want to drag my sister into this.
I'm absolutely pissed, really.
C'mon you have a problem with ME and you wanna tell people that my sister WAS a human being who beat other people up ?
Kalau tak puas hati dengan aku, datang kat aku la. Aku rela dengar kau mencarut, maki hamun aku depan depan, aku tak kisah.

But, you want to tell the whole world about my sis being in a gangster group instead.
Guess what, I've just asked her about that and she said she lied.
No, I'm not the only one who's in fits of rage. Even my sister and her boyfriend are furious.
Get your gears ready then, cause right at this moment, you don't have a problem with ME actually. You have a problem to be 'solved' with my sister.

Yeah yeah, call your very own gang, I don't care.
I didn't even have the intention to make our argument become a war. You're the one who brought some fucked up things into this.
Aku dah lupakan semua benda dah. I'M NOT EVEN HOLDING A GRUDGE TOWARDS YOU !
If I do, I would be throwing shits to you. If I do, I will stand 100 feets away from you.
Just because I know I have a life, I know it's not worth it to care about a teensy weensy argument, I'm too lazy to put that stupid thing into my life journal. So yeah, I don't even have a grudge towards you

Dah la, aku malas nak ada masalah pun dengan kau.
Sekarang kau ada masalah dengan kakak aku je. So I'll leave that to you guys.
Kalau kau benci aku pun, aku tak kisah. Everyone in this world deserves to be hated and all.
So, goodluck.

Sneek Peek

Am too lazy to elaborate my story about Didi's Suprise Party that was held at Curve on 11th July 2009
So, I'll just post our very own group picture
One is enough lah ( It proves that I'm so so lazy, no ? )
What the hell, the party was great though :)

Say Aye !

If you think the weather is being a pain in the ass, say aye !
How can you walk around school, smelling that smoky scent ?!
Thank God I didn't catch an asthma attack but I did get a minor chest pain
Screw you hazy weather -.- You should go away. I hope you do !

I was 'well-prepared' cause I brought a face mask and Dettol Hand Sanitizer
In the morning, the sanitizer was full, just like a brand new sanitizer
And now, tinggal setengah je hahaha
Blame Hariz who was addicted to it. Yknow, when you apply it on your hands, your hands will feel tad bit cold ?
Yeah, he loves that

Hariz : Sejuk gila. Cuba imagine, kat Mekah kan panas. Kalau letak kat muka, sejuk je
Us : HAHAHAHA

Oh and, did I tell you that, just because of the haze, I couldn't go out for a jog
Mom said, if I want to be stubborn and insist on going out for a jog, I have to wear a mask
No way. Wearing mask is uncomfortable
You feel like you're suffocating.

For the first time in my life, I'm visiting New Straits Time Online website
Let alone visiting the web, I'm too lazy to even open the newspapers
Everyday, I rely on the news update on Fly FM. Hahahaha
Hey, at least I'll know tad bit of something.
Better than nothing, no ?

I've decided to follow mom to Bangkok.
I don't feel right on wasting hundreds of ringgit that was spent to buy my ticket.
Yes, despite the Influenza A pandemic, I'm pretty scared myself
I will be taking extra precautions and hopefully, I'll be back here in an A-Okay state of health :)

And It Heats The Critical Level

This is just something I want to let out off my mind and my chest.
Tak suka la simpan lama lama..

It's just too annoying when someone changes. And that someone becomes extremely different since he/she has a lover
Some people do change. They put their boyfriend/girlfriend on top of the list and their friends after that. No, it's not wrong but snap out of it. Does boyfriend or girlfriend stay by your side forever ?
No. Sooner or later, you'll break up. You'll cry til you're dry
You sacrifice everything for your lover's sake, whilst you sacrifice with a HEAVY-HEART for your friends

Okay, I'm tired of making this like a riddle or something
Starting from here, siapa yang terasa, no comment lah. Sorry if I'll offend you in any possible way but maybe you should realize

First thing's first,
Do you realize whose property you threw when you were pissed off ? I don't think so cause you looked like you didn't even care. As if, you're throwing something that is yours
You threw your friend's phone that you were borrowing, onto the table. Why ? Just because the phone was being all f-ed up was it ?
I bet you know that the phone is screwed up, just by the way it looks

You want to save money, do you ? To buy a new phone ?
Mmm, that doesn't mean you have the right to just borrow other people's phone, to save your own credit
Easy, why don't you limit your time talking with your boyfriend on the phone ? I know, you guys rarely meet each other. Yes, I understand. You can just text 24/7. Isn't that enough ?
Or maybe, if you seriously have to listen to his voice, call each other once a day perhaps ?
At the same time, why don't you start thinking of the huge amount of money your parents have to pay for the bill ? Why don't you understand why your parents have been scolding you about the phone bill and whatnot ?
Stop blaming them for scolding you ! It's their job to make their daughter or son into someone better
I bet, if you try and make this habit of yours better, you won't have any problems with your parents on this

You are egoistic. No, I'm not the only who says this. Someone from your school told me too
For your own sake, for your own pleasure of getting something that involves money, without hesitation, you'll stand on your two feet and agree
Best kan, dapat free camtu je ?
You're too self-centered, too ego, you don't wanna listen to what other people say. You're on your own track
You never do and never will realize that those people who have been scolding you, letting out their feelings at you, telling you what you're doing wrong, are actually hoping for you to change
Instead, you will say "Mampus ah"
Yes, mampus ah you nak buat apa pun, but the thing you're doing, does it give you any benefits ?

Start thinking, what's right and what's wrong will you ?
Stop being rude to people that you should respect and I know you know who I'm actually referring to
Stop thinking that you're always right. Stop thinking that what you're doing is none of other people's business
People should mind if what you did, offended them or just made them feel like you're not supposed to do that

I'm out of words
Before I get my sorry ass out of here.. :

First, if you think that I actually have a problem of you having a boyfriend who you've been talking all the time or the fact that you have a boyfriend while I dont or anything yang sama species with those crap shits, screw you.
Second, I hope you realize ( For once or maybe twice or maybe a few times ) that what I'm actually doing here, is so that you change, you realize. I don't think I'm the only one who has something kept in mind about you. I bet ada orang yang actually nak confess kat you but maybe takut.
Third ( and most probably last ), I don't really care if you go around and say, "Oh Hazwani ni kecoh sial, yada yada yada". I've gone through that and I still am. Aku tahu, aku memang kecoh. Tak habis habis nak sedarkan orang and all. But from my experience of giving a few wake up calls, only a few people who showed great response. And a few of them, they rather bitch around about it. So what the hell, I am born to be hated by a few people. Everyone does.

[Edit]

Sorry if some facts up there are false, or maybe you'll say, I'm like accusing you
That's what I thought

And I forgot to write something
You know that message your sister sent to you ? Somehow, I totally agree on what she said
Every word, every sentence she said, I'm with her
Once in your life time, try listening to her. She had a point there
She does care about you and she said all those things in that message is because, she doesn't want you to repeat her mistakes
Maybe, she doesn't want YOU to live your life, bringing truckloads of regret behind your back

I don't really care on what you're going to do after this
If you get this wake up call and wake up from this crap, congratulations
If you don't, so be it.

Flashbacks

Reading Fahmi's new post made me have the flashbacks.
Yknow, about the great past I had, without truckloads of problems that I carry with me all along
Heck, I'm still carrying problems with weight of the world on my shoulders !
What the hell, every human beings will go through that situation, sooner or later

Yes, I miss standard 5 and standard 6. Immature moments ;)
That time when I argued with Sabrina just because of a guy hahaha
But standard 5 was the year when Anis told me to just accept Dydy's apology, and I did. That was when our friendship refreshed
Hey, since standard 2 okay, and I'll make our friendship last til we have wrinkles ! InsyaAllah

Standard 6, the year when we waited outside our class, sitting on the floor, crying, just because we had that fear, adrenaline rushing through our veins
Scared of the UPSR result, I must say hahaha
Sang Pencinta Wanita with Danial J., right before Pn Noriah announced our results
They surprised me by lifting me up and the TV crew took our picture
Seriously, how can you guys planned that with the TV crew ( Or was it newspaper crew ? ) !
Yet, I still love you guys <3
And the times when we roll on the hall floor. Pretty rad, no ?

Form one, omg
How much I miss last year, is.. I can't even find a word to describe it
Impossible if I didn't laugh for a day !
I mean, how can you survive without bursting into fits of laughter if you're sitting behind Danial Rezman and Fahmi in class ?
Plus, there was a special guy that helped me went through my ups and downs

Haih, rindu gila ..

"I hope I can turn back the time."

Cherry Faces

Currently listening to : Mindless Self Indulgence - Never Wanted To Dance

I feel cool. Uber cool actually 8)
I feel free like a bird, I feel good
At least I'm not frowning nor not in the mood
Thank God, no one shows their bitchy or asshole attitude for this whole week and that makes me feel satisfied
Even Luen said that I was hyper. I think that's a good thing, yeah

I want to sweat, I want to go for a jog
Rain, go away. Don't come this evening. Nope, not today
Albeit I wish for it, I'll pass. I need a jog, I need to burn these calories that I've been carrying since Tuesday
I hate Azi cause now, her weight is 41 kg. I think she loses a few KGs. Eee bencinya :(
While I, mhmm I feel fat. I feel like I've been eating a lot
I don't care, I'll go for a jog this evening. Even if it rains, oh yeah

Luen said, I'm short cause I sleep only for a few hours
Science theory : We grow when we sleep
So, weekdays I sleep for 6 hours tops, 4 hours minimum. He said, that's not enough time for me to grow
And Boon Kheng agreed !
Damn, I should've sleep more. For sure, I'll be a bit taller hohoho
Unfortunately, I can't grow taller anymore :( What a bummer
S'okay s'okay, I'm grateful with my height ( I guess )

Right now, I'm so bored, I can eat a shoe !
I'll continue watching Gossip Girl season 2. Starting in 3.. 2.. 1..

Roger and Out !

Move Move, Shake Shake, Now Drop

I went to Cheer Comp. '09 on Sunday and it was a very very tiring day, mhmm

Woke up at 7.30 a.m to Sofia calling me over and over again
She told me at the very last minute to go to her house early cause her sis wanted to go early
But ended up going a bit late. I think we reached the LRT Station around 9 something cause Sarah went to Sofia's house late

Arrived at Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil (?) around 11 something
And quickly went to the D*Starz turf. I felt so weird and scary cause I'm from TTDI, wearing D*Starz supporting shirt and all, yeah
But what the heck, tak salah support sekolah lain :)

Met Andy, Dat, Zack, Hafiz and Irfan. And later came Wan and Syakir. They supported Sri Aman too !
Padahal all of 'em, except for Andy are from DJ and they have their own cheerleading team
Hypocrite much ? Hahahaha
Throughout the competition, everything was good. I mean, all of us had fun
Andy was just being the part-time pornstar by posing and acting like a retard. A bit disturbing and disgusting hahaha
Went on the chair to watch whatever that was happening down there and ended up falling onto each other cause we weren't stable
Painful, yes !

After the competition, we went for the concert cause it was the 10th Anniversary of the cheerleading competition
Dafi wasn't a good start of the concert, really -.- Hahaha
But the guys were 'warming up' for the mosh pit they were going to do
Sumpah lawak okay ! Andy with his pornstar / horny moves and all, this big guy doing his thang HAHA
After Dafi's performance was One Buck Short and that was what I was waiting for (Y)
The guys were going mad at the back, doing their mosh pit and whatnot. Sofia fell down and got stepped on while Izaz kena siku orang
Memang wild la. We took a break after the One Buck Short's performance cause we were sweating and of course, Sofia had a headache after someone stepped on her

Went to the LRT Station around 6.30 I think. To Masjid Jamek first, with Wan, Syakir, Andy, Irfan, Sofia, Sarah, Dat and Zack
Stopped by at the McDonalds for a short awhile, then Sofia, Sarah and I continued our journey to KL Central using the LRT
I arrived home at 8.30 I think. I was surprised that mom and dad didn't say anything, such as, "Why are you late ?!"
As a matter of fact, they didn't even scold me at all ! (Y)
When I arrived home, my legs felt like they were going to break into millions of pieces. They felt so lifeless, seriously
Lenguh gila, penat gila. I could barely walk !

Whatever, it was worth it cause it was guh-reat :D
Although, ada orang tu jadi paparazzi. Dari tempat Falcons, pegi ambik gambar orang ni yang tengah kat D*Starz :p Hahahaha

And here are some pictures that I have my hands on. Sofia belum bagi semua lagi :(

Bukti Syafiq jadi part-time paparazzi tu hahaha :

LAST BUT NOT LEAST ...

Congratulations to the BLITZERZ !
You guys deserve it cause it was great
Especially the part when the Tick Tick Boom song was on (Y)
Kudos ;)

Count Your Blessings

Editted my blog, into a new template and a few new things here and there ( Sorta )
I'm semi-excited for nothing -.- Hahaha

But, I'm excited for the cheer comp. that I'm going tomorrow with the amigos :)
I mean, it has been awhile since the last time I scream and shout til my lungs feel like they're bursting and my throat feels torn
I feel a bit anxious cause I'm gonna wear the orange shirt that supports D*Starz. Takut nanti orang cam, "Dia ni bukan budak Sri Aman, but pakai baju yang support D*Starz". Aahh scary :/
Wth, it's for the sake of my friends and yeah, mesti la support D*Starz ! Woot woot
I HOPE SABRINA CAN GO ! That bitch has to go. Or else...

*&^%$#@

Right now, I feel itchy everywhere. Mom says that I'm having an allergic reaction to meat
I didn't know that I'm allergic to meat if I eat it 'a lot'
This is like the first time I'm having this allergic reaction and hell, it's itchy !
My hobby for today is : Scratch my whole body (Y)
I have these red dots, you know, yang buat jadi gatal tu. Uhh, I hate this
It's so uncomfortable

Just to get it clear and it's just something that I've realized recently,
For the past few days, I'm really really lazy to communicate
Too lazy to even say 'hey' to people on MSN. Let alone MySpace
Too lazy to have any of my friends to come over to my house
Too lazy to even talk through the phone
I think it's just because I don't feel any of them quite entertaining or fun
Sorry to dissapoint any of you okay ?

And I want to prevent myself from spending my time hanging out with people who smokes,
Prevent myself from hanging out with thumbs-down-attitude people
Prevent myself from even thinking of doing stupid things
Yeah, I should start doing that
Hopefully, by just thinking right, thinking straight, I'll be better (Y)

Standing At The Picket Line

I'm hating the weather sometimes. Hot, humid, hazy, terrible ! Every morning in school if I dislike the condition of the weather, I'll start ranting
Give me 10 reasons why you have to burn the forest and all. Go burn yourself je lah -.-

I have been jogging for three days, straight ! I should celebrate cause this is like the first time I'm having that effort to jog hahaha
Hey, I wanna stay fit, I wanna burn the fats I'm carrying everywhere I go ! *Go Hazwani*
And I don't know when I wanna start fasting. I have no idea I have to replace how many days of fasting but I estimate it, around 3 weeks ? Tak ganti 2 years ago punya :(

I've had a pretty good school week (Y)
For the past 3 days, a few 'molesting' events happened in class hahaha. Among the guys actually. They were chasing each other around the class, just to grab each other's balls. Now, tell me, aren't boys just mentally retarded or they just want to be gay ? Hahaha
Tangan Izreen pulak macam sotong, tak boleh duduk diam -.-

I wanna say sorry for the emotional posts down there. That's what I call, letting out my feelings
So if you're just too busy or you think it's such a waste of time reading that crap, feel free to just get the hell out of here :)

God, I'm feeling all icky cause I just got back from my evening jog which, something quite surprising happened when I was doing that
Anyway yeah, I haven't taken my bath yet, and I have Mr. Nathan's tuition at 8. Now's 7.13 p.m !
Okay, now I'm running out of time...

I rock and I roll *I'm so lame*

Consumptions

Conversation with Mama when we were on the way back home from Auntie's house yesterday was deep, really. I mean, how often do you get to talk to your mom about how bruised up you feel deep inside you ? This bruised up feeling I'm talking about has a connection with the post 'Hurry, I'm Falling'
Now I know how cool Mama is about me having a crush on someone. I told her almost everything and in return, she gave me a few advices. Two thumbs up !
Though, I don't know if those advices are helping me or not

---

Have you ever wished that you could undo your mistakes ? Your mistakes you did years ago, months ago, weeks ago, days ago, hours ago, minutes ago, and seconds ago. Just all the mistakes you've done
I bet you do wish for that. I mean, who doesn't ? I am wishing for that, right this second
I wish that I haven't make my very own stupid moves. I should've think before I act. If I did everything right, if I though of the consequences, if I just use my brain to think of what's right and what's wrong, this body of mine won't be polluted
I just received a wake up call.
I feel like I wanna go back to my old self. The one who punched the wall, who cuts herself just so that the pain will overrule her body and mind because the pain took her mind off the problems

Who have I become ? Who am I becoming ?
I think that I'm becoming just like those low-life scumbags who don't have a life to live to the fullest.
I feel like a spoiled kid whose parents don't take care of her.
Where do I learn to curse like those people out there ? Whilst sometimes, when I hear them curse like nobody's business, I'll say to myself, "Mulut lasernya !". Padahal, I was and am referring to myself at the same time
Where do I learn to be that cruel, to behave like those people who get theirselves into fights that end up with bruises ?
Where do I learn to relief my stress by doing all sorts of things that will make people judge me, mock me ?
Gather up all the answers, it goes back to square one. There's only one answer, only one. I don't know how to put that answer into words, but the only thing I have to do is blame myself
I'm too stupid to think twice. It goes like, "Okay, benda tu boleh relief stress. Okay lah". I don't go like, "What is or are the consequence(s) ?"
I've just realized that I'm more stupid than I think I was.

I'm out of words. I'm utterly dissapointed of myself, I can't even think straight
Right now, I feel like I wanna let out my feelings to someone, but whenever I wanna let it all out, it's like someone just pushed the pause button. I don't know who to tell, I don't know how to tell, I don't know why can't I just let it out
I seriously feel like I just wanna hurt myself, that's all
And run away from everything. From people, from reality..