Absolution

This post is not about me, not about you. It's general.

Everyone knows that in life, you will go through some tough time. And everyone will step into a fight or argument, either it's with your best friend or senior or classmates, whoever.
Some people will feel troubled if they're going through an argument with their best friend cause they're scared they'll lose another person who has been by their side through thick and thin.
If you're wondering why I don't really bother if I lose any of my best friends like those two guys whom one of 'em I've been friends with since standard 1 is because I know he's not the only friend I have and I know that sooner or later, this thing will happen. If it doesn't cause just because of an argument, maybe it's because we're just drifting away from each other without any reason. With this other guy whom I declared an end to the friendship is because.. I don't know. It's just out of a sudden, we didn't talk each other anymore. Let alone talking, we didn't even look at each other ! You see, anything can happen, with reasons or without reasons.

Confessions or as I called it, heart-to-heart conversation. Sure, you can do it however you want to do it, you just have to have the courage and honesty. Some people understand that between us friends, we tell each other our weaknesses to make us realize what's wrong and what's right, to give a wake up call. Whilst some people, they just don't get it. They think we do that cause we're jealous, or we have some kind of hatred against them. Just any bad things they could think of. You can't stop them from having that thoughts now, do you ? Just take it this way, whatever they're thinking or saying, just let them be. At least you've done your job of being honest, to clear your heart and mind from that thing that upsets you, to hope that everything would be alright after that, to just do something that you think that's right.

Fights and arguments have to come up with reasons. You can't just have a cold war between whoever without any particular reasons. You're a total bitch/asshole if you come up with assumptions without any reasons okay. And that, will just start a war. Think about it, won't people think of you like a retard if you walk right up to someone and say, "Weyh, kau apehal ?". Haha yeah, ain't that stupid. See, it's the same. Wait, as a matter of fact, you're not even suppose to get yourself into a fight or something. That won't do any good. Anything, just start with a slow talk.

Scolding people for something that's not really a big deal. This one, is famous. Try scolding people if he/she is being such a bitch/asshole, if he/she did something wrong. Don't scold people or pissed off with someone just for some stupid reason. Well, maybe for you it's a big deal but for other people it's not. For example : Scolding people just because that person didn't ask you to join with them hanging out. Technically, you don't have the right to do that cause maybe, they have reasons to not invite you. And you can't just intrude into something like that. They actually have the rights to invite or not. Just don't make it as a big deal. ( Sorry if anyone of you thinks that this is you. I'm not pointing fingers to anyone. This is general, I'm dead serious )

Before I end this post of me babbling, I would like to tell you people that you actually have to decide on every step you're going to take. Think first, if what you're doing is right or wrong. Think first if it will get you into any trouble or not. Just think of what's gonna happen if you do it. You can't just block your nerves from getting to your brain. People quote ; Think First Before You Act. Live with that quote (Y) People do say that everything happens for a reason. There are just some things that happen without any reasons. And there are things you have to fill in the blanks to figure it out yourself.

And just because I've acted without thinking, I went through a hard time. Now I know, that everything you do, you have to think first :)

Venture

I'm still having my period pain but I'm just too lazy to eat Panadol. Just because I'm extremely bored right now, I'm blogging just to kill the time.

As you can see, today's Sunday. Which means, tomorrow's Merdeka Day and the last day of our school break too. And oh, Dydy will be going back to Sarawak tomorrow :'( Unfortunately, her flight is in the early morning, around 6am (?), I'm not sure. I'll meet her later to hand in her bag and camera. If mom gives me the permission and all, we might go to Sabrina's house for awhile. Y'know, hangout for the last time.
Today will be a boring day for me cause I don't have any plans. Mom cancelled our 'trip' to OU. I won't be going anywhere to celebrate Merdeka Eve so yeah, I'll be staying home the whole day maybe.

How about yesterday ?
Thank God Dydy and I managed to solve our transportation problem although when we were in Pavillion, we still had to squeeze our heads cause that problem striked again.
Okay, sister drove us to Pavillion around 12pm. We should've gone out around 11 cause we were stuck in a jam ( obviously, it was a Saturday ) for an hour. Arrived there around 1pm and made our way to Forever 21. Browsed around and I bought a bag and a beanie, whilst Dydy didn't buy anything. We walked around while waiting for Syamel. He was playing games with Dydy, saying that he couldn't make it and whatnot. Lastly, we met up with him at Quiksilver. I'm not surprised that I was the shortest hahaha. When we walked, we were in order. There were Syamel - Dydy - Me. Macam tangga la :'(
Anyway, we walked around and they decided to watch a movie. I was fine but was surprised when they chose to watch Orphan. Take note : I'm a sucker at horror movies, OKAY ?!
Plus, the movie was 18PL. I was freaking out cause hey, I bet you guys would say that I don't look like an eighteen-years-old girl. And I had a 'traumatic incident' when my friends and I didn't pass an 18PL movie.
Whatever, thank God I passed :') But I'm declaring my hatred to that movie just because I'm a wimp to horror movies.

When I was watching the movie, my sis called, saying that we were actually having the big family dinner that night. I couldn't miss it now, do I ? It would be rude y'know. What if my aunts or uncles asked Mana Wani ? What would their reaction be if my parents tell them that I'm out with my friends ? Tsk tsk.
Had to solve my transportation problem cause Dydy didn't have any transport back home. Thanks to Syamel's friend, he could send Dydy home. So they bought another ticket to watch at 8pm. I went home at 6pm.
When I got home, I just realized I was having my PMS. 1) Thank God tak bocor. 2) It was 6pm ! Nak dekat buka puasa okay :'( Ish.

The night went well either. The dinner at my house was to celebrate my parents' 30th anniversary :')
Everyone from my mom's side was there. We ate, talked, had our laughs. Just like our own bonding session y'know. I miss it cause it has been awhile since the last time we had that gathering.

That was my yesterday. Didn't really get the opportunity to disturb or annoy Syamel cause damn, he was too quiet !
At least, I made him laugh. When we were walking around Pavillion, I asked Dydy a lot of random questions. For example, "Kalau you jatuh ke bawah, camne you nak selamatkan diri you ?", "Kalau you jatuh kat atas lantai, camne you nak cover ?". Those kinds of questions hahaha. Screw you, I was bored and they were too quiet. I just had to burst the bubble.

Tomorrow I'll start my day with a three-hours Science class with Mr. Nathan. Sure, I can bear that :'(
And I'll try to finish up my Science notes and Geography note book. I have to get extra marks, especially Geography. I can't get a friggin' C, dammit !

Ignorance

1. Oliver Sykes has a British accent. A freakin' British accent dammit ! *melts* I was surprised to know that he has an accent. A British screamer :') Hot nya hahaha
2. Mozilla Firefox is being a total bitch &^%$#@ Buat susah je download the new version of Mozilla Firefox. I thought it would be better, but it's still a bitch. Tak habis habis Not Responding ^%$#@
3. I don't feel hungry, at all (Y)
4. I'll be going to Pavillion tomorrow but I think I'll be having transportation problem. This is.. sad.

Another post that will waste your time if you read it. Very good (Y)

Let The Beat Rock

Hello world and all whom inhabit it :) ,
I think I was so excited for the hangout that I couldn't sleep like a baby last night. I went to bed at 2am but fell asleep at 3am. Freakin' 3am man ! Woke up for sahur at 5am and the left side of my head/brain was stinging. Well, it felt like stinging y'know, that stingy feeling ? Okay whatever. After sahur, had a hard time (again) to fall sleep, so I fell sleep around 6am. Woke up at 9.30am, the stingy feeling at the left side of my head was still there.

Dydy came around 11.30am, I was still in my boxers and tee hahaha. Shut up, I was too lazy to drag my ass into the toilet and take a bath. Don't worry, I brushed my teeth already.
Out of a sudden, mom said that she was going to Kepong with dad so she told us to walk to OU. I totally disagreed with that idea cause it was hot outside, Dydy and I were fasting, plus Dydy was wearing black shirt.
Great thing that Sabrina got a green light to come (Y) She picked us up around 12 something. The first place we went was Forever 21. I wanted to buy this top but I didn't know when I could wear it. Plus, I didn't think mom would like it. Sabrina was looking for a top for her to change cause she was wearing a singlet and cardigan. She was eyeing this top but she was scared she wouldn't have enough money to spend later. We took a break from all that and went to the toilet instead. Just hangout over there for awhile ( Yeah, we did that ), conquered the place where people makeup and stuff. Then we walked around aimlessly, took a few pictures and off to Neway. Frankly, at times, I'm not a big fan of karaoke, especially this time around i.e fasting month. So I was the photographer. Well I sang a bit, but not as much as those two very-energetic bitches I was with. God, you should watch the video I recorded. Macam orang tak puasa tahu tak hahaha.
After 2 hours of being a lunatic inside that karaoke room, they sent me to Infinity cause I wanted to cut my hair a bit, wash and blowdry, while they went off wandering around. I have bangs now, but not that THAT short bangs, just under my eyebrows. Cut around an inch of my hair, a bit layered. I came back home, mom was like, "Ya Allah, nampak macam jepun tak putih mata sepet !". I'd take that as a compliment, thank you very much -.-

Went straight to the toilet and hungout (again) over there, took a few pictures and whatnot. Sabrina bought the top she wanted, Dydy paid for it :)
Took a few pictures in the toilet and went to Chillis cause Izreen told us to but it wasn't full yet, so we didn't bother. We decided to go to Forever 21 cause I was empty-handed which wasn't fair, at all. Decided to buy a new purse, althought I actually wanted to buy new clothes. Just didn't wanna waste huge amount of money, better to waste it on something I need, no ? ;)
Dydy bought a purse from Topshop, I bought a purse from Dorothy Perkins. Since we didn't really have anything else to buy cause in Forever 21, Pull and Bear, and Topshop, there weren't really anything that caught our eyes I guess. Went to Chillis again, and that was when they told us, we could get a table for buka puasa at 6pm. We waited in front of GAP cause that was the nearest place we could wait. Had our usual talk, asked Luen where the hell was he and at 6, we went to Chillis to get a table.
I thought we had to wait for a long time to get a table, but no. It took around a minute (Y)

After waiting for around an hour in Chillis, with A LOT of temptations in every angles around us, we couldn't wait any longer 'til Azan Maghrib. Let alone Izreen, he was hungry, that's for sure. While my stomach wasn't really in the mood I guess. After getting our stomachs full, we went to Starbucks. Took pictures of us as memories :') Izzud bought me Caramel Frappuccino and he went off to Baskins after that. I hungout at Starbucks til 8.45pm cause Sabrina had to go home. I was being generous so I paid Baskins for Izreen, Dydy and Izzud.
Sent Izreen to the taxi stand at 9.10pm cause he had to go home. Dydy and I got a ride from Luen's mom cause we were going back to the condo. I was in dire need of a toilet break, so by the time we arrived at the condo, I walked like a retard and used Dydy's toilet. What a relief hahaha.
Hungout at the BBQ place, where Kunal and his friend whom I forgot what's his name suddenly interfered. You have no idea how blue-minded Kunal was, ergh. Just because they don't understand Malay language, I took the initiative to talk in Malay language. It was so fun watching them being clueless and not understanding a single thing I said hahaha (Y)

The night ended at 10pm when I had to go home.
It was a great day, and I loved it. I'll post the pictures later when Dydy transferred it already !

Hello Operator

I thank God for making myself in a good mood last night. I actually despise seeing myself in a bad mood, I despise seeing myself in the mirror with a screwed up look on my face. It is like written I'm Happily Screwed all over it, grrr. Okay whatever, moving on..
Yesterday night I had a video call on Skype with Dydy and it was like a conversation between a seller and a buyer. We were dealing on clothes, bags, pencil boxes, you name it. Wait, don't ever think we were dealing over some drugs or whatever craps okay ? Alright.
So, I bought a cardigan and badges, she gave two pencil boxes for free as my birthday present (: For the cardigan and badges, they're worth only RM20. I loike !
Suddenly she had an idea of creating a blog to sell her clothes that she's not wearing anymore.

Dydy : I plan cam nak buat a blog untuk jual baju baju I ah. Okay tak ?
Me : *thumbs up* I'll be your number one fan ! *grins*
Dydy : HAHAHA

The conversation was sorta like that. Sorry, I don't have a photoraphic memory, snap each thing that I read or see.

Dydy arrived here, in KL around 1 something or 2 just now. Hell, I'm happy :D It has been what, 8 months since the last time we met. Hey, what will you feel if you haven't seen your bestfriend for 8 months ? Rindu macam tak boleh nak terkata, I bet ( Jangan kembang hidung eh Dy haha )
I'll see her tomorrow, plus Sabrina, Izreen and Luen. Just a few people but that's just the point. Sorta like a small reunion of our standard 6 gang :') Can't wait. And I hope Sabrina can go. She has an Asking-For-Permission problem. Lets keep our fingers crossed for a miracle to come and for Sabrina's mom to give her a green light :)

--

During sahur, dad called me Bloody Stupid. Who am I to stop myself from crying ? To receive that kind of comment from my own dad who has been taking care of me for fourteen years, although he's not my real dad, just tore my heart, like a knife cutting through a piece of meat. Why he said I'm bloody stupid ? Because I denied every single thing my parents said. Don't you think I have the right to deny if they say I don't work hard in my studies, I don't really want the best for myself and yada yada. Honestly, I think in this world, the person who knows yourself best is not your parents, nor your bestfriends, nor your grandparents, or anyone in this world but yourself. And yes, I know myself very well. I have to deny every criticism my parents said just now during sahur cause I actually do work hard, I actually do want the best for myself. It's just that they don't know it. And when I told them that, they didn't believe me. I tell them that everytime actually but there's not even a teensy weensy bit of trust or belief. When I'm studying, they're nowhere to be found. When I'm watching TV or using the laptop, they're everywhere. Okay I've to admit, sometimes I'm so lazy, I would drag my sorry ass to my study table and study without any hope of sucking all the facts into my head like a vacuum. But there are times, I would drag myself to the study table just because I'm in the mood to do so.
Don't you think everything we do, we need the mood to do so ? You watch TV when you have the mood. You read books when you have the mood. Well maybe for some of you, you don't need mood, you just need passion. But for me, I need the mood.
What the hell, I don't think I can do anything with it. It's wrong and rude to fight back right ? Although sometimes I'm rude and fight back. I can't do anything to whatever they say cause it won't make any differences. They'll stick to their own thoughts, get their facts straight. So technically, I'm actually hopeless and completely weak when it comes to accepting their heartache criticism.
No, they don't know that I'm actually sensitive although I've lived under the same roof as them for fourteen years.
So the only thing I can do when they call me stupid, bangang, etc.. which they've been calling me that for only God knows how long, is nothing. Yes, nothing.

YES DAD, I AM BLOODY STUPID, YOU'RE RIGHT. YES MOM, I AM STUPID.
NOW, YOU STILL FEEL LUCKY TO GET A DAUGHTER LIKE ME ?
I MUST BE AN UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT, NO ?
If I'm bloody stupid, why do you still pressuring me on getting straight A's and all. I'm your bloody stupid adopted daughter, ain't I ?

xx

Before The Worst

Went to OU just now to go to McDonalds and mom went to KFC. I was craving for Spicy Chicken McDeluxe and she was craving for Cheesy Wedges.
After buying the food, in the car, dad was listening to Capital. FM. It's a disco-ish, clubbing-ish radio station. Seriously, there was Krazy by Pitbull but without Pitbull hahaha.
Okay whatever, so it went like this.

Me : Babah suka eyh dengar lagu lagu camni ?
Babah : Yeah
Me : Hahaha gila la, boleh pegi clubbing !
Babah : Eh babah dulu pegi disco okay.
Me : Shut up o.o Tipu ah. Mama pegi disco jugak ke ?
Mama : Of course. We were young once too okay.
Me : So you're saying, you guys were sorta wild ? Pegi disco and all.
Mama : Sort of la. But dulu disco tak macam sekarang. Sekarang ada banyak benda benda tak betul kat tempat tempat camtu.
Me : Wow, maju gila mama ngan babah. Wani ingatkan babah jenis yang duduk rumah, lekat bontot kat kerusi, antisocial gila hahaha
Babah : Eh, I had fun too lah.
Me : O.O Coolios

Entah entah your parents were a disco feet too. Don't get a heart attack if they were. Hahaha.

Yesterday, I went to OU with mom. A girl ( won't insert her name ) was with her boyfriend and when I went up the escalator, she called my name, "HAZWANI !". I waved.
She was holding hands with her boyfriend. And mom went..

Mama : Your friend ? Form berapa tu ?
Me : Yeah, form 3.
Mama : Dengan boyfriend ke tu ? Sampai pegang pegang tangan.
Me : Yes. Ala tu dah biasa la Ma.
Mama : Mhm, kalau mama tahu or nampak Wani pegang pegang tangan ngan boyfriend, dua dua orang punya tangan patah
Me : Ha-ha, okay :s

I was warned o.o hahaha

Tease The Crowd

HI FAHMI !

Fahmi wants me to write more posts so that he won't get that bored throughout the holidays. Well, I'm a sucker when it comes to blogging, to be frank. My English is not fluent, my stories are just the normal things, not some kind that's related to global issues or whatsoever hahaha and at times, I'm just too lazy to update this blog.
So Fahmi, if I'm missing in action or miss a day of posting, don't be mad or cry your eyes balls out. I know you'll miss my rants, nonsensical talk :') OR maybe, you're actually missing all that right now. Aww haha.

So, tomorrow marks the start of our fasting month and also the first day of our school break. Ain't that just great ? 2-in-1 :')
School was okay cause the whole clan was present, except for Seng Yung. All of 'em crammed around Harisah's, Izreen's and my table and did our basic routine ; Talk plus Luen's nonsensical crap talk (Y)

The whole gang decided to do the eye test together so we went out of the class together and went to bilik rawatan. While waiting for our turn, I went through an embarassing moment which made me pissed off too. Not gonna talk about it, moving on.. Someone closed the examining room's door and we were locked in the room for awhile. A teacher wanted to go out so we told her to climb the table and just jump out. Guess what, she did it. Thank God the table didn't fall but it was unstable. The teacher said, "Haha, saya berat". Hariz came to the rescue with a spoon and he unlocked the door. Yes, with a spoon hahaha.

We went to the library since Pn. Rabiatul told us to, but it was locked

Hariz : Meh aku bukak kan guna sudu lagi sekali, hahaha

He cracks lame jokes now hahaha. Afte recess, Azi and I ran back and forth from Discipline Room to 3 Curie ( It's on the 3rd floor ! Paling atas sekali -.- ) just to call to students. After going back and forth twice, that girl was actually at the toilet so we had to go down to the toilet &^%$# I was sweating my ass off.

Teacher was missing in action after recess, except for Agama. So our class free periods. Got our Geography marks which were a total disaster. Well, to me, my result was a total dope. 62% is written You're Dead all over it ! Mhm, I'm dead alright.

Whatever, going to school was worth it, although dad gave me the green light to be absent from school again 8)

And now I'm Skyping with Izzud, Azrel, Buj, Azrie and Al Azim hahahaha.
Funny shit o.o

Wincing The Night Away

For the first time, I did History without sweating bullets or went through a long time to think what's the answer. On the other hand, Geography and KH were the pain-in-the-ass subjects. Geography was just too annoying for me to take it seriously, whilst KH was.. Better but not good either. Though, it was funny when Izreen took Aidil's paper as if like it wasn't even an exam. No, he didn't copy, you shallow minded people. He wanted to see how was the questions cause y'know, Technical and Perdagangan students had different papers ? And he said, our papers were easy. Pfftt, that boy ahh -.-

*I'll update this post, later. Now, I have to feed myself cause my stomach is having a hardcore concert :o
Hello, bukak puasa !

--

Miss Leena's class just now went well, as usual. More talking, less work. Prove : Teacher told us to do as many summaries as we can and I managed to finish only one summary. Tu pun pause pause and after 2 hours of tuition which was until 10, pukul 10 baru la siap hahahaha :')
I was talking to Sabrina and y'know, just talked about stuff. Normal routine in class. And Miss Leena took out her camera, snapped a few pictures of us which were mainly candid pictures. No, we weren't that generous to let her take our pictures. Though, when she said she wanted to have a picture of the twins, just to see how cool it is to see a picture of twins, Mia agreed.
But when she said she wanted to take a picture of me and Sabrina, we didn't want to. She said, she would upload that candid picture she had of us into Facebook.
Look at the bright side, the pictures weren't bad hahaha.
She recorded two videos of us and planned to upload them on YouTube. I was the only one who didn't have a problem with that -.- Hey, it's cool cause it was spontaneous and Sabrina and I had our laughing moment. Which was when Sabrina came up with Four Virgins as the title of the video.
Teacher wanted to write the video as the Four Chicas but I said it was lame. Sabrina came up with a weird but true name, which was ... Four Virgins hahahahaha.
Don't ask me how or why she picked that. Long story :)

All and all, great class !
Sadly tomorrow we have a replacement class. I wanna cry my eye balls out :'(

M.I.A from school tomorrow xx

Scream 'Til There's Silence

So much for telling mom that I'll take a nap for only 30 minutes. Y'know, just to wear off the exhaustion and freshen up myself. I was disappointed cause I was supposed to sleep for only 30 minutes since I have a lot to study. I guess I was too sleepy and exhausted so 30 minutes became an hour.
Sue me, I was sleepy cause I slept at 2am last night and had to wake up for sahur. Technically, only 4 hours of sleep since I slept after sahur.
And now, I'm struggling on History, Geography and KH. I finished chapter 4 and 5 of History this evening. Tonight, I'll continue with chapter 6 of History, Geography and KH. And if I have time after revising all of that, I'll brush up on my History (Y)
Shit, I've just realized, I have so little time !

Goodbye blogger, hello frustation :'(

Epiphany

Izreen : Bapak best before exam pegi jalan.

Monthly test is tomorrow and I dragged my sorry ass to Seremban just now with mom, dad and Aidi, ze 3-years old cousin.
Felt a tad bit guilty cause I should've been at home, squeezing Islamic Studies and other subjects' facts into my head.
But hey, I couldn't just say No when we were actually going to have lunch at a hotel ( Yes, we went to Seremban just for lunch ).

Why did we go to Seremban for lunch ? Because dad wanted to test our new car, if it's that impressive or not. Alasan terbaik, haha.
I didn't wanna waste my time in the car doing nothing, so I brought along my notebook and Agama book. I know, if I read in the car, I'll feel nausea. But at first, I felt okay, after a few minutes, I felt like I was going to throw up. Pretty bad idea to read in the car hahaha.

I'll make it up by tonight for the lost time, which was .. 4 or 5 hours ?
Mhm, tonight ! 8-

P/S : I might be on hiatus. Or I'll sweet talk mom to give me the permission to online for awhile :p
Tatatititutu !

I'd Say

What a bad bad day.
From receiving a tirade from mom all day long for no apparent reason, to not making an effort to study, to reminiscing those moments that involves the long-gone 'lover' and last stop, to being restless about almost everything that's happening.
But to be honest, the reminiscing part is the worst part of the day or I would like to call it as The Spoiler.
Sue me for being so emotional ( Or pathetic, perhaps ? )

Mom : I see there's a 'cold war' between us, Wani ?
Me : Uhuh, you can say that again.

For Us To Reminisce When We're Old And White Haired

This is the only picture of three of us that I have :'(
Pretty sad.
So, we should snap gazillion photos of three of us, only !

Just for memories. And I'll add the picture into my picture frame. Omg, I'm exaggerating haha. Or maybe I'm just excited (?) :D
Woot woot.

Sabrina, Dydy, remember, we have to take gazillion photos. Pretty ones <3
InsyaAllah, bila kita tua kerepot nanti, boleh la kita nangis tengok gambar gambar zaman riang ceria macam kanak kanak ribena kita :')
Tak kisah kalau kitorang dah lost contact ke tak.

You've Been Wearing A Mask All Along

"Mampos dier ah, banyak cakap."

I'm not that angry, I'm more to sad.
I'm not gonna rant nor brag about it sebab, nanti entah dari mana kan, tetiba kena kutuk terbaik punya.
Thank God you're worthless to me now. Every help I gave you, everything I've done for you, I regret it so so much !
Congrats, now you have a great gang of your own. Hope you achieve your goal.


I'll never forget that guy who once called me late at night and listened to me bragging about the love life I had.
I'll never forget that guy who protected me and my friends from that fight at Burger King.
I'll never forget that guy who sang with me in class last year.
I'll never forget that guy who never fails to make me smile and laugh everyday in school.
I'll never forget that guy I chased around the block on the last day of school.
I'll never forget that guy I pinched and screamed in pain in a funny way.
I'll never forget that guy who was there with me, through thick and thin (sorta).
I'll never forget that guy who was my best friend..
And now, even my honest opinion about him, he couldn't accept it.

Another best friend has gone. What else ?

Piece Of Mind

I just wanna say sorry to those two people I had an argument with. I know you know who you are. I'm doing this because I didn't actually have the intention to make my letting-it-out way lead to a fight. And I'm doing this because I know nothing will change nor become different if this continue to be the way it is til only God knows when.
I may look like I don't really care that we had a fight, but frankly, I do care. Do you know that uncomfortable feeling you get when you know you actually did something wrong but actually, you just had to do it ? Yeah, that feeling if you know what I mean.
You don't think that I actually like it if everything didn't happen and things would be exactly like last year, do you ?

I can't really type that much cause both of my hands are very numb. So, sorry I can't really be completely frank about everything.
Don't be fooled or anything cause this is a sincere apology, really. I'm just too lazy to bring the guilt and just truckloads of other feeling along with me.
Won't really put any high hopes for you two to just accept my apology like that but hey, at least I'm being honest and sincere here AND at least, I get this out of my chest and mind. That's just what I need.

What is going on with you, D ?


Sincerely,
Hazwani xx

Knock Knock

I studied just now !
For 30 minutes hahaha. Then I went downstairs to eat lunch and planned to continue on History.
But, I watched tv for 2 hours and now, I'm here.
Productive, no ?
Hey, at least I started studying already. And I'll continue after this since mom let me use the laptop til 7.30pm only.
Uhh disappointment !


--

I've been watching commercials by Arwah Yasmin Ahmad. God, she's a talented director (Y) I don't really watch her movies such as Sepet and Gubra but my mom recorded them. I will watch it when I have the time :)
You should watch her commercials, they'll touch your heart, really. I just love the commercial entitled The Love Of Tan Hong Ming. Comel gila. Even my mom said so.
And Iklan Petronas Raya 2007 - Burung Murai.
Conclusion is, she directed the most amazing commercials.
Watch watch :')

Rest in peace Yasmin Ahmad, innalillah.

She's Running Blind

A form 1 Edison student's mom and Farid from 2 Newton were infected with H1N1. I was totally surprised when teacher didn't let us be quarantined or something. She just told us that the cleaners cleaned our classes and we won't be quarantined cause H1N1 is a normal case now.
She even said "Perlu Risau, Jangan Takut". I feel like this is absurd, really.
H1N1 is a deadly disease now cause til today, there are 14 deaths. Yet, teacher didn't give us a week of quarantined or something.
They gave 2 Einstein a week off last time, why not Newton and Edison too since it's deadly ?

Mr. Nathan told us that our boyfriend is the Science book. I don't think I could bear with a Science book even for a few hours, let alone having a 'relationship' with it for only God knows how long !
But I know that I should start dragging my ass to my study table, start revising History, Islamic Studies, everything. Just squeeze every facts that I need into my brain.
I seriously have to prepare for my monthly test and the big exam in October (?)
So, I have to set my mind to Study Study Study Study and.. Study. It's not wrong to be nerdified yknow. Tomorrow, if no one can join me to the library, maybe I'll go alone.

Tonight, I'll sleep late if I can make myself stay awake. Just to get a head start (Y)

Like A Bullet Meant To Be Shot

• Yuna - Random Awesome
• Since You Are Dead - Hot 'n' Cold ( Screamo cover )
• Shiny Toy Guns - Ricochet !
• JET - She's A Genius
• Kasabian - Where Did All The Love Go ?
• David Sides feat. Ahmir - The Climb ( Miley Cyrus cover )
• Rise Against - Swing Life Away
• Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk
• Framing Hanley - Lollipop
• Framing Hanley - Hear Me Now
  
• Matt White - Love
• Pixie Lott - Use Somebody ( King Of Leons cover )
• Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight
• Mindless Self Indulgence - Straight To Video
  

Tuned up ! And bite your own ass if you don't like any of the songs, cause it ain't my fault :)

I heard, Sri Aman had a week off, due to H1N1 ? How cool is that, no ?!
Unfortunately for them, they have to continue on their monthly test on the same date as us ttdi-ans, but only for two days since they've done with today's papers.
The heck, if I were to be quarantined, I don't think I can find the joy of staying at home doing only God knows what, for a week !
Imagine me, staying at home for a week, not stepping even a foot outside the house, unless I wanna go jogging or tuition, and just study for the whole week of quarantine.
I'm sure those gazillion facts are completely squeezed into my brain like a tuna in a can.
Oh I just wish.


So, today I was in school for half a day only. I left school at 11am due to headache and nausea.
Off to the hospital and since I've been having this nausea quite a few times, the doctor gave me an injection. I have no idea why, but I don't think I wanna know pun why -_-
You have no idea how much I hate needles ! It makes me feel numb and it hurts *&^%$#@
Nothing, I repeat, nothing can ever explain how much I hate needles !
Albeit I wanna be a doctor, I hate needles and I dislike taking medicines.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not qualified to be a doctor. Rasa macam nak tukar cita cita tapi sayang sangat nak jadi doctor :'(
Bak kata orang tu la, "You kan doctor, tak kan takut makan ubat kot."
Mhmm, unfortunate no ?

After all that torture (!), mom planned to have brunch so we went to OU. I went with a freakin' numb arm ! S'okay, I'm strong hahaha.
Ate at Garden and came home right after. Laze around at home til now. Did nothing productive :(
I'm so gonna do something that has some benefits after this. Oh yeah, those notes I've been procrastinate for so long.

Okay, I'm already blank.
I think I'll shut up now, I'm too hooked up with music 8)

Death Grip On Yesterday

I have been absolutely blank on what to blog, that's just why I haven't been blogging every day. Which, I understand I'm not even suppose to blog every day but for the heck of it, I blog every day. Get me ? Hahaha okay, moving on..

Today's 2nd of August which means, yesterday was officially a start of a new month.
I hate it when time flies by at the speed of light. I feel like I didn't really appreciate the month and I've missed a lot of fun.
And not to forget, tak study satu benda pun :O
(Kan dah menyesal sebab remind diri sendiri yang tak study satu benda pun ! *&^%$#)
What the hell, I can't pause the time or something, right ?
I should cherish each moment I go through, starting.. Now !

Bollocks, mission is so gonna fail hahaha.

I have a pile of homework to be done. I've been procrastinating my Sejarah notes and Agama notes. Tak payah cakap la berapa banyak nota kena tulis. Sah tangan layu :'(
I have got to find some time to study and stop making myself distracted. I'll put a sticky note into my head so that I'll keep in mind that I have to study more and less wasting time (Y)
Oh and, I'm in serious need to go to Jasema to buy stationaries. Dah miskin pen dah ni !

Just a summary on what I did yesterday and today.
Sabrina planned to go to the library. She was sure that the library was open cause Fikri said so.
My brother ended up making a round at the library cause there was a sign said "CLOSED" at the entrance of the library.
So, we sent her home and went for lunch with the family.
Dah lama tak pergi lunch or dinner with a complete family :') Selalunya, sorang sorang missing in action.

I have no idea what did they put into the food (Not that I'm blaming or anything) but I was out of my mind after the lunch. I was laughing, giggling, disturbing my brother and sister.
And that's just why they call me Dennis The Menace at home !
Kakak played poker on MySpace with my brother the whole day -_-'

Today was a tad dull. Okay maybe extremely dull cause I spent the whole morning watching TV. And my brother went back to UiTM this morning. Dah tak ada driver dah haha :(
Guess what, I watched Freedom Writers twice ! Once was yesterday night and another time this morning.
That movie is inspiring. Boleh nangis la tengok :') Memang tak kan muak, seriously.

Now, my aunts and uncles from my dad's side are downstairs. But since I'm wearing my boxers and t-shirt, no way I'm going down.
I'm too lazy to change and by the way, I'm not even close to them. So why bother, right ?
Plus, I'm not really a big fan of annoying kids. Baru pandang sikit, dah nangis -_-
Baik duduk dalam bilik, dengar lagu, main game hahaha (Y)
I so love my room.

Now, I'm back to my mundane life.
Roger and out !