I've lost count on how many friends I've lost in the past few weeks or maybe past few days.
There's one because of the attitude that I don't think I can ever accept.
There's one because of the misunderstanding that made me feel like, there's no trust in the friendship since that person believed on someone he/she dislikes.
Can you accept that ? Well, keep your answer to yourself cause right here, right now, you'll hear me out, bragging about what's going on in my life.
If you just hate reading people's bragging, get out then. It's not like I give a flying tuck.
I'm too tired of going through a pretty rough rocky road.
This year has been by far, the most stressful, problematic year of my life. Hands down.
There's just a lot of misunderstandings, misjudges and just everything that's just wrong, false.
Everytime I walk in school, I feel like people are giving me the stare behind my back. As if I have a dirty stain on my uniform or I'm carrying a sign that's saying, "Look Here and Give Me That Bitchy Stare Of Yours. I Freaking Deserve It".
I know, there's a few or a huge number of people talk bad things about me. I know I'm a total bitch, a total fucker who deserves every single curse that exists in this world, every single bad talk that exists, everything that's just bad enough to make me look like an ugly poop or the ugliest human being that ever existed.
Is it me or am I just being too pessimistic ?
No, I won't really say that I'm starting on the pessimist theory here. I'm just writing what I'm feeling.
What I think that's revolving around me.
Because of all these feelings that are circling in my head, I'm starting to lose confidence of myself. I'm starting to feel like everything I do, every single thing is wrong. Totally wrong.
The way I walk, the way I talk, the way I treat people, the way I do my duty, etc.
Total lack of confidence I tell you.
And I've always put myself into a fight that's not worth a penny.
Even my mom says that.
All this while, I do realize that all the fights I've put myself in are not worth it. I don't even ask for a fight actually but it just turned out to be one.
Why ? Due to our immaturity, due to our foolishness, due to our egoistic-self.
Izreen was right about no one in this world is not ego.
I've been wasting my time on things that I should not even care, on things that I'm not even suppose to give a damn about but just for the sake of making things right, I tend to care.
And when I do care, I will, I must make that thing right !
But then, it'll turn out wrong. It'll turn out the way that I don't and never wish it'll be.
At the same time, no one does and will even understand the reason why I do it. Nope, not even a single a human being.
Even if any of 'em try to understand or maybe do understand, they don't understand the reason 100%. No one will !
I don't know what else I'm suppose or can say. I can brag everything about what I'm feeling right now til dawn.
But I'm too speechless. Too clueless. Too stupid to write another single thing.
Gosh, I feel like tearing my hair out.
I feel like I want to fly solo from now on. Just settle things by myself, mhm.
By doing that, I won't get myself into any other nonsensical, stupid misunderstandings, fights or whatnot.
I'll just be on my own, so no one can blame me for anything. Cause if I'm on my own, my mistakes are my problem.
Yeah yeah, I'll fly solo, I'll do things my own way.
And I'm doing this cause I can't bear being accused of doing things that I didn't even do.
Those accusations happen just because no one tries to even find out the truth. That's just too stupid. Pure idiosyncrasy.
And as you all know, I'll be utterly pissed whenever anyone just accuse me or bitch around about me for no reason.
Yes, I tend to not care cause what the hell, you're showing to people how lifeless you are. But no, that person won't think of it that way.
That person will just think that I'm a coward for not fighting back !
God, I don't know why people nowadays can't just get a grip, take a breather and just live their lives to the fullest.
I admit, I used to bitch around too but then, I received a wake up call from my mom, sister and I just spend my free time, thinking of what's right and what's wrong.
And that's when I started to stick this into my head like a sticky-note ;
Holding Grudges/Bitch Around : Farewell.
So what the hell, I'll just go back to my mundane life.
Whatever challenges, whatever bad talks I get, I'll accept them just like that *snap finger*.
But that doesn't mean you can just cross the line like that.
Crossing the line is another topic.
This is just a story of me being fed up with people's nuisance.
Au Revoir.
There's one because of the attitude that I don't think I can ever accept.
There's one because of the misunderstanding that made me feel like, there's no trust in the friendship since that person believed on someone he/she dislikes.
Can you accept that ? Well, keep your answer to yourself cause right here, right now, you'll hear me out, bragging about what's going on in my life.
If you just hate reading people's bragging, get out then. It's not like I give a flying tuck.
I'm too tired of going through a pretty rough rocky road.
This year has been by far, the most stressful, problematic year of my life. Hands down.
There's just a lot of misunderstandings, misjudges and just everything that's just wrong, false.
Everytime I walk in school, I feel like people are giving me the stare behind my back. As if I have a dirty stain on my uniform or I'm carrying a sign that's saying, "Look Here and Give Me That Bitchy Stare Of Yours. I Freaking Deserve It".
I know, there's a few or a huge number of people talk bad things about me. I know I'm a total bitch, a total fucker who deserves every single curse that exists in this world, every single bad talk that exists, everything that's just bad enough to make me look like an ugly poop or the ugliest human being that ever existed.
Is it me or am I just being too pessimistic ?
No, I won't really say that I'm starting on the pessimist theory here. I'm just writing what I'm feeling.
What I think that's revolving around me.
Because of all these feelings that are circling in my head, I'm starting to lose confidence of myself. I'm starting to feel like everything I do, every single thing is wrong. Totally wrong.
The way I walk, the way I talk, the way I treat people, the way I do my duty, etc.
Total lack of confidence I tell you.
And I've always put myself into a fight that's not worth a penny.
Even my mom says that.
All this while, I do realize that all the fights I've put myself in are not worth it. I don't even ask for a fight actually but it just turned out to be one.
Why ? Due to our immaturity, due to our foolishness, due to our egoistic-self.
Izreen was right about no one in this world is not ego.
I've been wasting my time on things that I should not even care, on things that I'm not even suppose to give a damn about but just for the sake of making things right, I tend to care.
And when I do care, I will, I must make that thing right !
But then, it'll turn out wrong. It'll turn out the way that I don't and never wish it'll be.
At the same time, no one does and will even understand the reason why I do it. Nope, not even a single a human being.
Even if any of 'em try to understand or maybe do understand, they don't understand the reason 100%. No one will !
I don't know what else I'm suppose or can say. I can brag everything about what I'm feeling right now til dawn.
But I'm too speechless. Too clueless. Too stupid to write another single thing.
Gosh, I feel like tearing my hair out.
I feel like I want to fly solo from now on. Just settle things by myself, mhm.
By doing that, I won't get myself into any other nonsensical, stupid misunderstandings, fights or whatnot.
I'll just be on my own, so no one can blame me for anything. Cause if I'm on my own, my mistakes are my problem.
Yeah yeah, I'll fly solo, I'll do things my own way.
And I'm doing this cause I can't bear being accused of doing things that I didn't even do.
Those accusations happen just because no one tries to even find out the truth. That's just too stupid. Pure idiosyncrasy.
And as you all know, I'll be utterly pissed whenever anyone just accuse me or bitch around about me for no reason.
Yes, I tend to not care cause what the hell, you're showing to people how lifeless you are. But no, that person won't think of it that way.
That person will just think that I'm a coward for not fighting back !
God, I don't know why people nowadays can't just get a grip, take a breather and just live their lives to the fullest.
I admit, I used to bitch around too but then, I received a wake up call from my mom, sister and I just spend my free time, thinking of what's right and what's wrong.
And that's when I started to stick this into my head like a sticky-note ;
Holding Grudges/Bitch Around : Farewell.
So what the hell, I'll just go back to my mundane life.
Whatever challenges, whatever bad talks I get, I'll accept them just like that *snap finger*.
But that doesn't mean you can just cross the line like that.
Crossing the line is another topic.
This is just a story of me being fed up with people's nuisance.
Au Revoir.
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