Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Hello Operator

I thank God for making myself in a good mood last night. I actually despise seeing myself in a bad mood, I despise seeing myself in the mirror with a screwed up look on my face. It is like written I'm Happily Screwed all over it, grrr. Okay whatever, moving on..
Yesterday night I had a video call on Skype with Dydy and it was like a conversation between a seller and a buyer. We were dealing on clothes, bags, pencil boxes, you name it. Wait, don't ever think we were dealing over some drugs or whatever craps okay ? Alright.
So, I bought a cardigan and badges, she gave two pencil boxes for free as my birthday present (: For the cardigan and badges, they're worth only RM20. I loike !
Suddenly she had an idea of creating a blog to sell her clothes that she's not wearing anymore.

Dydy : I plan cam nak buat a blog untuk jual baju baju I ah. Okay tak ?
Me : *thumbs up* I'll be your number one fan ! *grins*

The conversation was sorta like that. Sorry, I don't have a photoraphic memory, snap each thing that I read or see.

Dydy arrived here, in KL around 1 something or 2 just now. Hell, I'm happy :D It has been what, 8 months since the last time we met. Hey, what will you feel if you haven't seen your bestfriend for 8 months ? Rindu macam tak boleh nak terkata, I bet ( Jangan kembang hidung eh Dy haha )
I'll see her tomorrow, plus Sabrina, Izreen and Luen. Just a few people but that's just the point. Sorta like a small reunion of our standard 6 gang :') Can't wait. And I hope Sabrina can go. She has an Asking-For-Permission problem. Lets keep our fingers crossed for a miracle to come and for Sabrina's mom to give her a green light :)


During sahur, dad called me Bloody Stupid. Who am I to stop myself from crying ? To receive that kind of comment from my own dad who has been taking care of me for fourteen years, although he's not my real dad, just tore my heart, like a knife cutting through a piece of meat. Why he said I'm bloody stupid ? Because I denied every single thing my parents said. Don't you think I have the right to deny if they say I don't work hard in my studies, I don't really want the best for myself and yada yada. Honestly, I think in this world, the person who knows yourself best is not your parents, nor your bestfriends, nor your grandparents, or anyone in this world but yourself. And yes, I know myself very well. I have to deny every criticism my parents said just now during sahur cause I actually do work hard, I actually do want the best for myself. It's just that they don't know it. And when I told them that, they didn't believe me. I tell them that everytime actually but there's not even a teensy weensy bit of trust or belief. When I'm studying, they're nowhere to be found. When I'm watching TV or using the laptop, they're everywhere. Okay I've to admit, sometimes I'm so lazy, I would drag my sorry ass to my study table and study without any hope of sucking all the facts into my head like a vacuum. But there are times, I would drag myself to the study table just because I'm in the mood to do so.
Don't you think everything we do, we need the mood to do so ? You watch TV when you have the mood. You read books when you have the mood. Well maybe for some of you, you don't need mood, you just need passion. But for me, I need the mood.
What the hell, I don't think I can do anything with it. It's wrong and rude to fight back right ? Although sometimes I'm rude and fight back. I can't do anything to whatever they say cause it won't make any differences. They'll stick to their own thoughts, get their facts straight. So technically, I'm actually hopeless and completely weak when it comes to accepting their heartache criticism.
No, they don't know that I'm actually sensitive although I've lived under the same roof as them for fourteen years.
So the only thing I can do when they call me stupid, bangang, etc.. which they've been calling me that for only God knows how long, is nothing. Yes, nothing.

If I'm bloody stupid, why do you still pressuring me on getting straight A's and all. I'm your bloody stupid adopted daughter, ain't I ?


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