It's My Turn

Last week, Mak Lang told all of us about her friend's son. He's just the same as me, an adopted child. One day, there was this event for adopted child. He volunteered to give a speech about himself, his feeling, everything. It was very very touching. He said, he would thank his real parents no matter what. He received a hug from a few famous people, for example Jermaine Jackson :)

That made me think of it and mom asked me, "Will you have the guts to get on stage and tell people about yourself being an adopted child ?". I was speechless.

So I was thinking of what I'll say if I get to be on stage and tell people about it. I wanna share with you guys, cause who else will I share it with, no ? This is what I wrote and sorry for any grammatical mistakes !


As you guys know, I'm an adopted child. I've been adopted by my parents whom I'm living with now. It has been fourteen years cause they adopted me since I was born. They used to tell me that they actually found me in a box in front of my house. Harsh but it never fails to make me laugh til now. I've never ever seen my real parents. I don't even know them. I would love to know who they actually are but sometimes, I have a feeling that if I know them, I'll go back to them. At the same time, I'll just tell myself that there must be a reason why I've been adopted. Maybe I was a burden to them so I don't wanna be a burden to them now.
After fathoming it out, I've decided to not go back to my real my parents eventhough if I can and even if I know who they are.
Honestly, I had a thought, was I an unfortunate child that I was given away for an adoption ? Was I an unexpected child ? I used to ask myself a lot of questions. Why was I given away for an adoption ? I needed the answer. I still do actually, but I know the answer will tear me apart, one way or another. I'm sure, someday I'll know the answer. Maybe when I'm strong, when I obtain a thick heart which can handle even the most heartbreaking truth, when I've learned how to handle the truth without going through a major breakdown, when I'm mature enough.
Sometimes, I do wish I could just run away from this family. Of course, that's when I'm going through a tough time. Y'know, the times when we get scolded in a way that tears you apart just like tearing a paper. Yeah, my parents always call me stupid, bloody stupid, all those harsh words. With my strong sensitivity, of course they do not mash well together. I could feel like someone just punched my stomach.
But what's life without breakdowns and the ups and downs right ? Life won't be as perfect as it can be without the challenges, without the ups and downs. I take challenges as a one way ticket of learning new things. I'll keep that in mind from now on. I have to be stronger, that's all, cause right now, I am a wimp, I am still a weakling.
And after hearing my auntie's story, I've just realized, whatever my real parents did to me, I'll thank them no matter what. Without them, I won't even exist. Without them giving me away for an adoption, I won't be living in this house, living in this family which consist of a strict yet loving parents, a sister whom I never get bored with, a brother who can be such a jerk but a caring one too and without them giving me away for an adoption, I won't be who I am now. So thank you and no, I won't think of me being adopted as a weakness or advantage. I'll never think of it that way. I always think myself, as same as all of you people who are living with your real family. Cause I've been leaving with this family since I wasn't even able to see the real world and understand it, so because of that, I consider this family of mine as my real family :)
Plus, I know this situation I'm in, is not even bad. There are people out there who are in worse situation but they are still grateful for what they have. So I ask myself, Why Can't I Be Grateful Just Like Them.